random silence...

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2009-05-24T11:42:00.000+06:00

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Moved....

2007-01-04T09:44:00.000+05:00

This blogger drama seriously got to me, and now, I announce a move to my new blog address:

Random-X.com

The blog has been moved with all its posts and comments...just be sure to update your blogrolls :)

See you there :)

Bugged by blogger issues?

2006-12-21T15:05:00.000+05:00

Most readers of Blogspot based blogs are using either the http://pkblogs.com/(blog url) or http://inblogs.net/(blog url) to access the blogs. I believe are facing issues in commenting on other blogs too.

A quick fix for this situation is to open the comments page in another window/tab (as your browser permits), and then removing the http://www.inblogs.net/files.php?file= prefix from the address bar.....leaving only http://blogger.com (and so on...) there.

That way you can open the comment page.

Comment away!

Out and About...

2006-12-18T16:49:00.000+05:00

Been busy, very busy......also supremely ticked off at the blogspot issues. Frankly speaking I've had it. First blogspot.com goes, then blogget beta dramas, then inblogs/pkblogs comment issues. What the hell is wrong??

I also faced a 2 week wordpress blackout.

Chances are, you might very soon see me on a completely different blog with a unique URL to end all issues once and for all.

Till then, take care and have fun.....

2006-12-06T09:10:00.000+05:00

Silent storms rage through the still air. Burning, slicing and ravaging silently through the once unusually narrow space between fact and fiction. The smell of slowly smouldering flesh mounts itself on the the stormy breeze, permeating through the valleys where beautiful dreams spin their magic upon innicent souls. The dreams cease, freeze in time, decaying slowly, to eventually crumble and annihilate back to nothingness. Dreams they are, they were, once upon a time.

From innocent hues of black to the blazing darkness of clean white.

Everything barren, seemingly clean, hiding oceans of ferociously tamed expressions.

Circles....

2006-11-28T10:59:00.000+05:00

Going around in circles, leads mostly to nothingness. Only sometimes, when you are too, you pick up fine lined details that you could have missed out before, giving you and edge over so many others.

Revolving, in a dervish-esque trance, about the same sacred stone, each time, a new wave of trance, each step, closer to losing oneself. To lose oneself in pursuit of one's dreams and ideas is a dilemma in its own case. Lose yourself, as not to lose your sanity, lose yourself, to escape from everything else and rise to a state of enigmatic consciousness.

Busy week...well, sort of. Wrapping up stage 1, stage 2 lies in wait.

Thankfully Ideas has ended, and traffic around the city is now more easy to go by. What beats me is why there are benches on the PAF museum side of Shahrah e Faisal? Who walks that stretch? Ok fine, the fixed and cleaned up that area for the first time in my almost 2.5 year history of driving through that road, but benches are beyond me!

Today is relaxed...have a meeting at about noon to put finishing touches on the masterpiece. Lets see what finally turns out and when we are actually able to get things moving. Fingers crossed. Need lots of prayers and wishes.

Blank-ness

2006-11-22T11:19:00.000+05:00

I have no idea what to blog about. Quite a few things come and go before one has time to actually sit and focus on anything in its entirety. In short, things have been busy.

After a long long period of being good aquaintences, I met N recently, and we take the opportunity to yak each others heads off pointlessly every once in a while. We've known each other silently for approximately 3 years now, and its always been warm, comforting and peaceful. Now its anything but peaceful, but in the fun sense totally! Its intriguing as to how we as people allow certain relationships to cross cerrain safety barriers over periods of time, making acquaintences, friends and a lot more in the process.

Moving on, things are looking interestingly busy on multiple fronts, lets see what happens in due course of time. Winter has started creeping in, one can actually move around town without getting drenched. The light nip in the air at night, the slight dryness, feels just great.

What else did I make a point to blog about...?

Yeah, attended a seminar yesterday titled "Y is for Youth", aimed at marketing to the youth, and came back with a head ache. It was probably the worst event ive everseen done by the Dawn group!

Best part about yesterday though was the part about me driving home at night. The roads had very light traffic at about 8.30 pm! I managed to breeze home and in the process I almost believed it was past 11!

The drive to work this morning too, was fairly comfortable as compared to normal days. I guess the citzens of this city are freaked out by potential traffic jam threats!

Challenge...

2006-11-15T23:10:00.000+05:00

Until fairly recently, I believed that there are two types of people in this world. One, that takes challenges as they come in their stride, occasionally resolving issues as they come, but generally trying to evade the creation of issues. The other, evaded issues all together and was always content with the monotony in their lives. It was a few days ago, that I discovered the third kind, those that actively hunt for challenges and are fuelled by the constant desire to find the greatest challenge. I have, since then actually managed to find a coupke more people, hence realizing I was normal...possibly.

Some live the dream, some live to build the dream, and are satisfied in doing so, knowing the dire circumstances that one may face in the process and knowing that many mountains lay ahead,

I was discussing an opportunity with a friend, who asked if I thought I could do the task. I inadvertently blurted out "If I could do it, I would not do it". A couple of moments silence followed, then after realizing what I had said and the liberation that I felt after saying it, I went on to explain the statement further. Bottom line being, if I knew how to to accomplish a certain task, it would hardly be a challenge. It is the search of the ultimate quest that keeps me going.

The past few days, I have been positioned (by some random reason) to contemplate on the beauty of this one word. Challenge. In our lives, everything is a challenge, to someone or the other, in some form or the other. Why do challenges appeal to us so much? Why is it beautiful to challenge the possible?

I believe in everything, for everything is possible...

2006-11-12T01:49:00.000+05:00

A topsy turvy past week, crazy ideas, crazy emotive states and even crazier discussions with people I am close to. Things have been pleasantly weird at the home front and work, well, that has been pretty much usual. I guess breakthrough of the week remains a standard feature MashaAllah in which we come to a certain learning and/or crucial opportunity point and move from there. This week there were two such things. As much as I'd like to, you all know I can't disclose such wonderfully juicy entreprenurial ideas now, I might to so when things start rolling for real. Possible scenario would be me asking if you had heard of a certain company and/or a certain execution, and if have, I would be telling you who was behind it. For now though, things will have to wait. Some strange ideas go into peoples minds when they still believe I do nothing. Smack on November 9th, I bumped into an old ex colleague online and the second and third messages I got from her (first one being "heeeyyyyyy!!!!") were "aren't you at offce?" and "what happened to your job??". I don't really blame her, she was out of uni for about just over a year when she got married and was (not to be mean) ignorant enough to not think about how things went by aside from her job. She was even least concerned about how other departments functioned. This, was of course an easy opportunity for anyone to tell her more than she knew and also meant that she would get impressed very easily. Turns out the rest of the gang and I keep telling her once she is head over heels "the guy was nothing special, you are just too easy to impress". Sounds mean of us, I know, but hey, she was like the lil kid at our place and we all took care of her. Fast forward to the present, lets see what the coming week has to say... For now though, I feel a bit lost, for no reason whatsoever....my imagination seems to be on a vacation, and silence seems to prevail all over. Which, i think, is good in a way...no?

Moving, silently...

2006-11-05T17:12:00.000+05:00

Living, breathing, always moving. Moments in life, silent motion, from one end to the other. From there, further deeper into what lays in wait. Mountains, valleys, rivers and barren scapes of the real and the temporal. We keep moving. It is the ever lasting journey that keeps survival possible. We seldom travel alone. Even when we say so and in from the deepest recesses of our heart and mind we feel alone, we are ~~rarely ever~~ never so. There is always someone that walks with anyone and everyone of us, we most often just don't know. We look upto people, those we trust, for knowing and holding our hand and walking us to safety. It is an overwhelming opportunity and seemingly a matter of pride, such challenges at times shaking the very foundations of every shred of self confidence when the task is unfolded. No guidance is simple, no suggestion can be steroetyped, no two people and no two scenarios are the same. When people are looked up to, it is the knowledge and wisdom of such people that comes into question. Professional matters aside, some people have an inherent belief in the ability to fix things and to make them work. Build them for the long journey ahead. Knowledge, ideas and wisdom, are a beautiful symphony spun in the tides of pure inquisition. Some know not, even with years of learning; some know, without opening a single book. All those who know, by whatever means, thorough courses of eons uncounted, share a common fear (for lack of a lighter word) of the being held responsible, not by people, but by guilt of the self. Things must go on, challenges must be faced, care must be taken, the risks are always there. When the job is done, the search for the next quest is never too far. Its just a matter of packing up and moving on, back to the deserts, the infinite wilderness, knowing not what lies in wait. Greek anyone?

The Chronicles of Boredom - Part 2

2006-10-29T09:06:00.000+05:00

One thing I forgot to mention in the last post, was the fact that I watched the second half of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy on Tuesday, October 24 before I hit the sack, that too cursing the cable guy for ramdomly shifting the location of the channel midway. I almost pulled out my dvds when my brother found the alternate position while in search of something else. Chand mubarak messages started pouring in, which doesnt make sense 'cos the fun of chand raat is when it comes by surprise, not when its predictable. Khair, slept a while after that and quite a few messages came in till the time I dozed off, a few more after that which I read in the morning. Wednesday: The rise of the morning sun, Eid prayers and sending a hefty number of Eid mubarak texts later (I'm not much of an Eid person, but things like these are part of the standard relationship management things), I have breakfast, then laze around the house with one of the younger bros, while other brothers and dad doze off. I go through movies I have, only to discover a couple of them aren't running on the laptop (dvd player and tv already in use by brother) and I don't remember what he was watching, but I sure was'nt interested. I managed to watch a horror/thriller movie, See No Evil. Movie was ok, overdone in several aspects. Signed in, goofed around, napped and then went out for dinner. Thursday: Woke up next morning to a throat that seemed to have been subjected to the free will of over a million pneumatic drill bearing lunatics. Grazed, dented, broken and hurting like mad. Did nothing all day again, this day I took the liberty to sleep a li'l extra. While fooling around online in the evening, set up a dinner plan with a friend, drove out at 8, first found my way there, picked friend up, had dinner at Ciao because Aylanto kicked us out (they had no space, and the head waiter suggested a minimum 30 minute wait. Hot choc at Costa post that (espresso is my first choice, but its too noisy to have a decent discussion at times) and then realized it was 11.30. Had to drop friend to her friend's place for a slumber party, and slumber-party-hostess's-mum would have raised eyebrows is she was late. Had a great time though. Headed back home and slept. Friday: While most of Karachi was out to work, I remained crashed in bed, my throat decided to go gay on me and by now was showing signs of my standard infection cases along with a slight fever. Took meds and cancelled plans of heading out to get some long over due home stuff done. Crashed infront of the telly post lunch and watched an interesting kiddie movie for the second time after quite a while. Also discovered that I like that song by Ali Khan, Saathiya. Friend from Thursday night dinner confirms to me the timing and venue of her brothers concert which she told me of earlier. Its at DD Clifton, reminds me of my crazy donut parties and the need to crash there on Monday morning. As bad as I really wanted to go to this, my drained state was not giving up. Slept like a rock in the evening, woke up for dinner and then answered some interesting questions late at night. Saturday: Feelin a lot better, I decided to head out to get the stuff finally done. Drove out at 11, came back home at 3, had lunch, then headed back out to drop younger bro to his friend's place, where he and his friends will be jamming throughout the night. Old school friend called, asking if I was up for a hang-out and dinner plan, knowing I'd start talking like crazy, I chose to decline, in the interest of having a saner throat for Monday morning when I finally get back to work. Also calculated that after subscribing to the 1250 texts package on October 20, I have less than 720 left, hence over 500 consumed in just 8 days, of which about 240-250 were sent on eid, the rest were cheap text rallies. Saturday's score was over 30 and continued as I typed this. All of you jealous of my chutti-at-will attitude: I just downloaded myself an assignment, which I will be doing on Sunday. Zip it already! This post was prepared on Saturday night, and will be posted Sunday morning, subject to some last minute realizations while I'm sleeping, which will be (hopefully seamlessly) integrated into the main body of the post. Feel free to try locating areas where integration was done later and win yourself brownie points. Do a good job and you might actually even win yourself a real Hob Nob Brownies. Please refer to Mr. Tariq Aziz if you were hoping for a water cooler or Electra for peeling onions/potatoes/whatever.

The Chronicles of Boredom - Part 1

2006-10-24T14:47:00.000+05:00

This is the first in the series of two (maye three) posts, unless of course something really elaborate comes up that jumps on my head to be blogged.

This post and others like these are the result of extreme boredom that has arisen due to the a sudden gap in all activity thats keeps my life going (read "work').

It all started on saturday, the day after Juma-tul-Wida (the last friday of the month of Ramadan). I slept late, indulging in an early online sprint that ran late into the night with a couple of blogger (and a few other non blogger friends) and resulted in a late wake up (ok, i realize, 1 pm is late, VERY late, so unlike me).

What did I do after that, roamed around the house for a bit, no one had anything to do, hence I picked up my laptop and ventured to give Maqbool a shot. Its an Indian version of Shakespere's Macbeth and has been done very well. I have Omkara too, but im kind of not to keen on watching it since I havent studied or seen Othello, the original one. More about books and movies. The Davinci Code makes the movie look like a midget and Tom hanks can go flush himslef down the drain for looking like an absolute baboon in that movie, The producers should have realized that having a blockbuster starcast doesnt essentially guarnatee a great flick, the movie should have its own credibility too. After reading The Davinci Code, I tried giving Deception point a trial. Was sadly disappointed. Too much technological BS and a standard 'everyone is so smart' crap. Ticked me off extremely.

Back to my saturday, after Iftar we all sat down and thought about hittin the streets awara gardi-ofying later at night, thought maybe some last minute shopping could get done (none was eid related though, i know, sounds weird). Khair, went out, drove around, traffic was crazy on Tariq road, then hit Alamgir road for Chicken Malai Boti came back at about 2 in the night and almost outside the estate, we heard a huge clanking sound from under the car as we stopped at the signal. Got out, investigated, found a small (2-3 inches) piece of curved metal, which looked like a spring part. Thought would investigate the car later, so while mum was in the car with bro, rest of us walked home. Found out it was the rear right coiled spring that had fractured. Went up, and slept, thanking our lucky stars that the thing didnt break while we were driving around.

Come Sunday, it seemed that the spirit of Garfield had gripped everyone in our home deeply. We all lazed around, slept for quite a while and I didnt even get the car done after taravih, considering the huge traffic jam that would have potentially lied in wait for us.

Monday, woke up at about 11.30, drove out to the mechanics at 12.30, got the stuff done and a couple of other small things too and then came back home at almost 5. Was dead beat by then and skipped a family drive around town later that night post taravih. Went to sleep during a cheap text exchange session and was woken up for sehri, then woke up again this morning and its about 2 pm and im almot done typing this away.

I wont be ranting about the 3 eids we are having her this year, everyone else is doing it and its really not worth it. These people are idiots (ok, ill zip it). Also realized its been a while since Ive done anything on the Metroblogs. Hmm.....

Places, people and timings

2006-10-22T12:22:00.000+05:00

When you add them all together, most often you might end up with what you may call an occasion. Some casual, faded from memory within a week or two at most, some hang on, and some shape the very lives that we lead today.

Though not every occasion may be as course-of-life changing, but several are, and one never know what minor incident, that has long passed its due time in the throes of our mind, decides and determines the impacts of what we think today, or how we react to a given set of conditions.

Experiences, are one set, but these are connected with scenarios and chalk out a path of logic and a following course of action. They are a measure of our learning and exposure in our respective fields of life.

Its strange (at times wonderful) of how certain places, that were once fairly normal to you, change to become something that gets your mind going. Planting a goofy grin on your face that make others think you have lost it, or driving you to make a phone call or writing an email.

We all have our special moments, with friends, family and other significant ones (ill leave it at that).

Question is, if these occasions didnt occur, or occured at a different place and time, would they still bring that goofy grin? Or would they have been long forgotten.

One such incident, which started out as just a random convo with a stranger, now has a whole new meaning and story to it. It pleasantly haunts me everyday for the past few months, and trust me when i say this, im loving it everyday.

It does, at times, scare me of tomorrow, but tomorrow is inevitable. We shall see when the time comes.

Enough talking. Time to bug that friend now!

Blog Blank

2006-10-21T02:33:00.000+05:00

Alright folks, Ramadan has almost officially ended, and has just brought along with it an unbelievably long weekend that lurks at me from the darkness.

I have a natural tendency to work and though I think there are a couple of things I can manage to think straight and consistently about, I honestly doubt that they will be able to contribute anything towards my lack of anything to do state. Whats worse is that the busy week is all of a sudden followed by a large gap of nothingness, just sit at home, maybe hang out a bit.

This year, Ramadan was fairly relaxed on my end, as compared to my almost 15/20 iftars out of home last year, I managed to retain only 3 external iftars. Felt good to be home, at least by iftar time. Best part was leaving office at 5, knowing there would be a significantly diminished rush on the way, meaning I could get home in under 35 mins or so.

Eid is around the corner, its an occasion that I, for some reason, cannot relate to. I understand the religious significance, and the chutti and eidi part, but it just doesn't make sense to me. I for one, am amongst those who even wonder why most Islamic countries (and even certain sectors of our society), celebrate Friday as a holiday. Just doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm an overt workaholic, though I don't completely agree to that, but yes, I do believe in my workaholism. Its the overtness that's the discerning factor.

Been doing a lot of blog hopping lately and quite a few interesting blogs discovered during the last week.

Well, been up for quite a while now, almost 2.30. I think I'll have sehri and then sleep in another 15-20 mins I guess. No Saturday night plans.

Tagged....

2006-10-16T15:27:00.000+05:00

Ok....got tagged by Dysfunctional and incidentally, this is exactly the tag that I referred to in this post! so yaaay!!

thanks Dys!! (can i call u that btw??)

Today

height: 5'10"
color: a shade of brown (wheatish?? whats that btw??)
piercing: nil!
tattoos: none

Right Now

Time: 1259 hrs (this post will be published at approximately 1520 hrs btw)
Mood: need to work, dont feel like it, slightly bored!
taste: cant exactly pin down what that is...
the weather: its hot outside...humid in here.....
bad habit: lemme think of ONE!
current crush: Sounds boring but none..nil..ziltch...nada..
biggest regret: None major....but there is one i cant tell!
Perfume(s): Eternity
Thing I want to do: Get done with the projects on hand and see these things fly!

Favourite

TV show: Hardly been watching TV, but always liked sitcoms!
book: many...just dont remember names (note to self, get reading again)
non alcoholic drink: Milk, sprite, tang...cut down on cola these days..
milk drink: Milk itself, hot chocolate flavoured is great too....
brand: brand of what??
color: Im a blue freak
emblem: Cambridge U!
perfume: 212 Men, Farenheit, Drakkar Noir, Eternity, Contradiction, Escape and few others that I cant recall names of..
designer: Not a designer wear person....
Chocolate: A great many...wher do i start???

Have I Ever

broken the law: yes...
misused credit card: NO!!!
skipped school: no...
fell asleep in the shower/bath: yes...and its so soothing!!
had children: umm......not the last time i checked!
been in love: i guess..
been hurt: comes with the package....

Random

have a job: umm....yes...
My CD player has what in it right now: Ill take the PC, its silent right now...but im hooked to The Blowers Daughter by Damien Rice these days...
if I were a crayon, the color? blue!
what makes me happy? good food, job done, silence, sitcoms, family....i have many of those chotti chotti khushain btw....

When/What Was the Last

I got a real letter: I stopped getting those....now all i get are bills....
got an email: AN email?? i get over a hundred everyday!
thing I purchased: duplicate key for my car on sat, was too lazy to do anything on sun and havent bought anything so far today!
TV program I watched: A hint of satuday night live...on saturday!
movie I saw in the theaters: Pirates of The Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest.. at the premiere! :D
hugged: virtually or really??
song heard: Damien Rice - Blowers Daughter and then Requiem for a Dream's soundtrack...
place I was [besides home]: at office....was in the car before that!
phone call: mum!
was depressed: late saturday night...done and over with now....

What Comes to Mind When I Hear

car: BMW = UDM
murder: crows!.
cape: zorro...
cell: mine!
fun: execution!
shoe: i need to buy!!
crush: orange juice!
music: depends on the kind of music!
love: nothing much really...im a cold blooded realist....
chalk: aimed and whacked on the head!

Now...who all do I tag?

Extiinct, Psyched, Suga, No one, Mansoor, Jaded, Untamed Desires, Mentalist, FQ, Checkmate, Qu3st, Sam and SR (you know who im referring to are). Anyone else, feel free to jump in!

Review!

2006-10-14T10:06:00.000+05:00

The past week has been crazy mad busy, as evident from my lazy and to the point posts.

The week was busy, and good. Apologies to all my friends who I've been talking to very frequently earlier on but have sort of not paid much attentio to them recently. Signs of the fact that I'm probably soon about to become my zombie self. even right now I'm sitting in office and have a meeting in about 30/40 mins.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th, but great things happened in the sense that I got to meet and/or talk to a lot of people I've been out of link with recently. I spoke to 3 people in Lahore. Ive never done that in a single day unless I am in lahore! The first one I talked to told me that the weather is hot, the second one told me too much on their head and will be ok soon, the third one called me from the middle of the road in the rain and was cursing me for not being there. Ok, so thats bad.

I was out of office from 1.30 yesterday, came back at about 20 past 5 and then head back out in 10 mins after freshening up to an Iftar with old colleagues at a restaurant. Bumped into 3 more people there. One was a friend of a very close friend whom I once met at an event we were attending. The second one is (or is it "was") a KMB guys and the third one I know through other sources. Hit Lattetude after that and bumped into another aquiantence after a long long time. Catching up was suggested and I agreed. I'll keep that after ramadan so atleast I can have something to much on when I get bored.

Came home at over half past 10, everyone was at Khalas so I just chilled on the couch for a bit, trying to stay awake till they got home before I went to sleep. All home at 11, and I was on bed by 12 dozing away.

I so wish I was travelling right now, Islamabad also had great weather in the past couple of days, chilly nights have set in there too. We're waiting for something nice to happen here though.

Now, about work, things are coming along just fine MashaAllah and the initial stages of the project are in finalization stages, we will hopefully start making rounds for raising capital by next month or so. By that time, my company will also have a name so the unbelievers (yes, there are some who strangely believe I'm doing noting and putting up a farce) can rest.

I'll keep you guys posted on progress on the business front. Fow now though, I gotta jet off and get back to tweaking the figures that have been crossing everything these days. Hopefully will finalize them in todays meeting.

Lost...

2006-10-11T23:57:00.000+05:00

Its a BEAUTIFUL day today! after so long for a great change! No blazing sun raining fire down on your head, roasting you inside out in two minutes. A pleasant breeze, slowly, softly, and cool calmness.

The meetup went well yesterday, caught up on old times and industry news (ex industry for me). Incidentally when S and I crashed back at my office for a cup of tea and I signed into MSN, I also ran into AS, an old collegue of ours, who is now married and lives in Quetta with her Air Force dude hubby. HK called up at that moment. HK used to be my boss, now a VP in a bank (refer to my designations and abbreviations wali post somewhere in the past 2 months). Im too lazy to find you guys a link right now.

I have a monster meeting today, and Im sort of preparing right now, point is, whats there is there, and its out there for all. There will be very limited talking, only majority brainstorming on how to go about raising the tons of money we need now.

- - - - BREAK - - - -

Ok, back from meeting and home now, sitting at home at half past ten and just resumed tying this.

Meetiing went well MashaAllah, one step closer to word domination (where is my competition???). Tons of money to raise now.

The numbers from today's meeting need to be reviewed, some upscaling and additions. Hence the action plan for the rest of the week and the next week. Post that, some final touches and data back ups.

For some reason I'm absolutely blank right now...just realized while talking to a few people that I cant even think clearly. Its rare, this state. I could go to sleep right now and wake up in a completely different mind set.

I have a question for you guys. If you read a blog, someones blog, once in a while....and if it says "I tag you all"...does that tag apply???

Long overdue....

2006-10-11T09:43:00.000+05:00

Time for an extremely overdue blog post. Been very busy these days, and whats more, i leave office at 5 now, which means i get home by 5:40 or so, better part is that i manage to evade the mad traffic jams and by that time, the summer sun has somewhat smoothened out.

The financial model's almost finalized and currently out for review. Im at office, killing time for a while before I rendezvous with some old colleagues for Iftar. Looking forward to some good fun, which reminds me I forgot to take extra cash today. I had the extra cash on the tip of my yesterday, until ofcourse I fell asleep earlier than planned thanks to the beautiful breeze in the balcony (no i didnt sleep in the balcony, I was merely sitting infront of the balcony door and enjoying the breeze while I worked).

Im looking forward to the winter, and by this time, its supposed to have moved in, sadly its still blazing hot during the day and only makes sense once the sun is down.

By the way, the "gay wordpress users" in the post below refers to wordpress being gay, as opposed to the brow-raising implications that were made. I understand that while we blogspot users are under a ban (by the way, ive been experiencing unbanned blosgpot at my office for the past couple of days, didnt check at home), we can still post over email, which means the whole world doesnt go to the wordpress page simultaneously to make a post and hit save everytime you type a section.

Dont mean to start a blogspot vs. wordpress debate here, but I too signed up for wordpress recently, but didnt proceed when I learnt about the email post issues there. Im so used to posting over email. Its so convenient!

Will continue later...have to head out now....

Performancing

2006-10-06T15:02:00.000+05:00

I hope this shows up sane and works fine. This post is a result of a new tool I just added to my Firefox. Its called Performancing. Its supposed to be a note taker in certain forms in addtion to being a full fleged blog editor.

I generally dont have issues posting to my blog, but I guess it may prove a great tool for gay wordpress users too.

Lets see how this post shows up.

Dont blame me if you're dead!!!

2006-10-05T15:50:00.000+05:00

The slightly less dense traffic on the PAF Faisal - Karsaz Intersection strip of Shahrah e faisal was a relief this morning, considering i left slightly earlier than usual. Little did I know the relief was short lived, along with what could have possibly also been some idiots life.

Driving at over 80k in the far right lane, near the CSD stores, a lady steps on to the road while she is less than 70 feet away from me. I honked, and she continued to STROLL across the road! Raising her hand like a traffic cop, maybe she thought she was superwoman or has supernatural powers that will stop a beast weighing in slightly over a ton at close to 90k in under 50 feet!!

The gall of that woman!!! If someone honks when you get on the road, you get back up!! YOU DO NOT STROLL ACROSS THE FUCKING ROAD!!!

Possible effects of such strolling could include your skull be smashed to a few hundred pieces and your brains splatering the road not to mention your body being found over a hundred feet away from my car!!

Lady......if you planned to commit suicide, know that it won't solve your problems in anyway, though i seriously you werent planning on that. In either case, your death, shoud that have occured, would be more of an act of insanity rather than an accident.

You could be exempted from insanity, however, if you somehow proved that one of your eyes werent working, hence you were unable to assess the distance between you and the car (the human mind works on the principles of co-ordinate geometry, so we need 2 points of reference to calculate distances. our eyes serve as those points of reference). Even in those circumstances, crossing the road was not safe for you and you would have known that!

Thankfully, you are not dead and I just managed to pass behind you, after slowing down to a great extent. I could see a couple of cars behind me pull over next to the lady from the rear view mirror. I however, was just relieved that she was alive. Only later did I realize that I should have pulled over and given her a piece of my mind.

I remember telling someone that half of this nation is suicidal, he came back to me with a statistic on that also implied the same. I said whats the point.

Common sense people....common sense!!

The return....

2006-09-29T08:23:00.000+05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen...

She is back....all she needs now is a new set of shoes....and thats a tough choice....no wonder women take so long to shop for shoes!

Blank blank blank....

2006-09-28T14:44:00.000+05:00

Time for a post long due...

Ive been busy, not very, but fairly, mainly ramadan has taken a great deal of time-shuffling. Its normal, happens every year and by the time we get used to the shifts, ramadan is often over half way through...then you spend another week or two getting back to schedule!

It makes a slight bit of sense when people u know give u a missed call..maybe as an indicator to remind you of something or just to make sure u call them back......but whats a blank SMS worth?? Why on earth would you or anyone send someone a blank sms??

I got one a few days ago, initially i replied with a "who is this?" but when no reply came back...i sent another one "I got a blank sms from this number. btw, its cheaper to give a missed call". I sent those messages cos it costs me 0.12 Rs. to send an sms..hence the crazy mad sms parties I have.

Its just unbelievably blazing hot for the past few days...intolerable....and for some reason....im forgetting something...and since im forgetting it, i dont know what it exactly was that I meant to say..... Sad......I didn't even have my car today :(

What else is there...

2006-09-22T15:00:00.000+05:00

It was me on that road
But you couldn't see me
Too many lights on, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn't see me
And then flashlights and explosions

Roads and getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nigthmares
And sudden explosions

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for

I've got a golden ear
I cut an I spear
And what else is there
Roads and getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

There is no room I can go and
You've got secrets too

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

Past few days...

2006-09-21T10:44:00.001+05:00

Things have quite busy in the past few days. and the weather is craetin quite a drama. I'm hoping that the weather will come to its senses soon.

I recieved three letters from my bank last week. They were all sent to the wrong address. What surprises me, is that despite the fact that the bank made a data entry error, I'm the one thats supposed to be writing a request for correction of address. It shocks me as to why this nation is so insensitive to basic human interaction skills. The letters were thanking me for opening an account with them and introducing a couple of new clients. Now that does sound great from a customer service perspective, but what they were not supposed to do was to send the letter unsigned, and with a wline reading "This is a computer generated letter and does not require a signature".

Silly people the bankers be. Id be ok with that computer generated crap if it were an account statement, or any sort of lab test report or something, because it only means that there is a system that is managing the whole affair and that its trusted enough by the management not to require a re-check of the contents of that report. You just dont send a thank you letter with that line!

How would the bank feel if I sent the president a birthday card with that line?

Had fun at the blogger meetup, and those interested in knowing more can read details off the the other attendants' blogs since im not much of a storyteller......which reminds me.....aside from Psyched, no one has quite put up the story.....

The past few days have been really maddening in terms of power issues, not to mention the searing heat is creating a laziness sector in the morning mad me.

The world is going crazy too, a coup in Thailand and Chavez just called Dubya the devil. For more on dubya entertainment, there is a site dedicated to his quotes of enlightenment that have always made me laugh.

Tagged by Jaded...

2006-09-21T10:44:00.000+05:00

Got tagged a few days ago by a dear friend of the not so distant past, Jaded.

Here I go.....

Im thinking about.....

Theres quite a few things at the moment, mainly im focusing on a shift in certain plans and its overall impact etc etc, standard business crap. The weather is really irritating and I have no power right now...hence im also thinking when the power will be back.....sad!

I said....

Nothing....im in a silent room.....

I want to....

Take a vacation, hang out with friends in some cool weather!

I wish....

Somethings were different.....

I miss....

The care free childhood......I miss Aijaz.....

I hear....

A generator somewhere in the distance and a few crows......no music in my room right now....

I wonder....

If dreams and ideas make all the difference in this world. I know is a statement in a very broad context, but considering how dreams give birth to ideas, followed by ventures (both the adventures and the commercia ventures), Im thinking if it is live off ones dreams......

I regret....

Nothing. I believe everything happens for a reason and at times the reasons for many things are beyond our understanding, atleast for the time. Regrets, in my opinion, only tie you down.

I am....

You'd know better....those who know me, know that I never have an answer to quite a few questions about me....

I dance....

Are you kidding?

I cry....

Once in a while.....silent, in the night....no one knows...and its back to normal again....more of a stress release therapy basically....

I am not always....

Mean......Im not always nice either......

I confuse....

Anything when im not interested....and i confuse anyone i feel like at anypoint of time.....

I need.....

My space....

I should try....

To learn more, know more, be able to do so much more....

I finish....

I hardly ever do that....I just process to a certain extent and pass on for others to finish the rest...its just most often a matter of adding input.

Teaming up with friends

2006-09-11T18:44:00.000+05:00

I watched You, Me and Dupree over on Sunday. Its a good movie and an interesting tale on how some of the smallest things matter most in relationships. It also teaches on how not to behave when you're living in your friends house!

Sunday, I also met AR, the ED of the place I used to work. I spent 35 months there and saw it go through so many changes to be what it has become today. A month before I left, one of our good IT friends, RAG left. A week into my notice period, AI and AA also left. AI was from Goldman Sachs in London and New York. AA was an across the board chartered accountant and was a cool dude. AA joined a few days after I did. AK also joined after that, but he left way early, in that context, AS was also team, but she too left way early.

AI joined pretty late, but became an integral team member thanks to her always being around to joining me for donuts and coffee at DD. She is now a Vice President at an Investment bank looking after the product she used to sell here. AA is AVP at another bank, but will become a VP within 6 months.

During my 35 months, I inherited at different points of time, over 4 bosses. One left within 3 days of my joining for her delivery and never came back. She joined another firm. She was the one that brought me there to start off with. I still call her "the boss who ditched me". HK came way later, he is now a VP at another bank in the consumer div. AS is now reaping oil in the gulf. WB didnt have the calibre to be called the boss, while he was atleast 4 steps above me in management. I pulled a battle with him and I won. I never wanted to report to him, and I got what I wanted.

AM was cool, he was out of Fidelity in Boston and he too resigned recently, only to join a similar firm as COO.

It was nice meeting up AR after long, the guy bought a set of fine cuban cigars, only to be shocked when I reminded him that I dont even do sheesha. Well, had a hot choc, discussed business and lives and we hope to stay in touch.

It was good. He to had distanced himself from the company. Spends more time at the parent firm closing their deals. Makes sense. Nothings fun when the team isnt there.

All the best to all of you, and hang in there tight.

So much more, sometimes so little....

2006-09-09T19:52:00.000+05:00

So heres an overview of whats been going on, the kind I usually give once ive spent a few days outside bloggosphere... First, however, is a point of concern. I was and still am EXTREMELY ticked off at the ads on the bottom of my blog! I just cant understand what happened to these bloody google people! (for those who didnt know, blogspot belongs to google, so does orkut and a million other things. Oh, and India's bazee.com got bought out by eBay for USD50 million, so theres tons of stuff happening in the webscape of business). Ok, i just found out it isnt the google people posting these ads, its the pkblogs ppl (considering the blogspot ban here, we use a proxifying site, hence we just learnt that they arent the ones that insert them). Back to me....yes, thursday was mostly spent planning and re-reviewing what we have been upto, and developing alternative strategies, so just when we realized the pace of things was slow enough to actually start feeling bored, here comes a new thing which should keep the mind buzzing. Its interesting how barren the Pakistani enterprise scape is, and whats more interesting is how one just cant import a business mode and deploy it here. We need a customization on several fronts, probably thats what makes business in Pakistan so much fun! Friday was a BEAUTIFUL day. It rained all day since 10 in the morning and continued till God knows when in the night. I liked this sort of rain, soft, serene, the kind that doesnt soak you inside out while you walk for 2 minutes from your car to the building or the office or just to the coffee shop nearby and grab an nice warm cuppa. The night, however, we were deafened by idiots who dont give a damn about Shab e Barat. If you cant observe it, please dont disrespect it. Saturday today, have a couple of movies to watch, lets see what I end up watching and sharing with you all. Lets see about tonights mad blogging marathon. My phone line is a bit noisy, hopefully ill be able to make it, but nothings too certain. As you can see, there is pretty much nothing really thought provoking about my blog. Its just the usual rants that I bore all of you with quite often. By the way....this post was made by by saving it to my outbox on Outlook, then driving by my office, parking outsede and hitting the F9 button. Considering the internet at home is was extremely crappy at the point of time the post was posted.

New Crib....

2006-09-04T13:39:00.000+05:00

And....here it is, one of the first pics of the new office..... The carpet has yet to be added and ofcourse the paintings and all that stuff for the walls is also in the pipeline...

That laptop there is mine....obviously.....and thats about it to this place so far :)

Friday Fun...

2006-09-02T09:26:00.000+05:00

Late Thursday night (technically Friday, hence the title of the post) was a night I waited for so long. Another one of those mad mad bloggers on MSN session, celebrating the revival of my phone line!. Referrin to previous posts, I did get a PTCL wireless last week, but the internet on that is really really slow, Unbelievably slow.

So Friday was a strike; and though I know many of the readers of this blog wont agree to my opinions expressed here today, Illl say it. The strike was just an attempt by some idiots desparate for some attention. The idiots themselves, a so-called religio-political gang, is itself guilty of tearing up copies of the Amendment to the Hudood Ordinance Bill and jumping upon it. Now the Hudood Ordinances themselves are formed by religious consensus of some sort and there were certain anomalies. It was only logical that when a bill in that regard is presented to the parliament, it would contain quotes from the highest sources of law in the universe. These idiots, tore it to pieces, jumped upon it, and the gall that they have, they arent even apologising!

Back to Friday, boring, very very boring, I finally watched Syriana with the concentration I wanted to, considering the extreme number of referrals I recieved. The DVD I had bought earlier had crappy audio quality and I never got around to having it exchanged for a better copy. This time I watched a copy I downloaded.

Also downloaded are: The Shawshank Redemption, Scary Movie 4 & Shes the man.

On the list are: Omkara, Poseidon, The Exorcism of Emily Rose...and if any of you have more recommendations, feel free to post as a comment.

Another observation: I sometimes see that some people need nothing to be impressed! Or, maybe its just a mental conditioning within them that makes people accept anything that comes from a certain quarter.

For the past week or so, Ive seen someone express an opinion about a music video, that was appraently released on Friday. Now, Ill just make things a bit clear, the opinion was not directed at me, nor has that person ever spoken to me about it, but its just like a personal statement infront of the name, like the personal message you can post on MSN or G-Talk.

The video in question was a track called "Dil Chahay" by Saahil (I've never heard of these guys earlier). I saw the video...and was left wondering what was so "un-fucking-believable" about it. No groundbreaking technique, no unique shots; in short, nothing special at all!

Then again, everyone has his/her right to an opinion, and this is mine. You, as a reader may or may not agree to it, which you are entitled to. Just dont bombard me with hate-mail.

Uneventful yet pleasant....

2006-08-28T12:32:00.000+05:00

The weekend is over and thankfully Clifton is no longer flooded. I liked driving to work today, now im just hoing for the gravel to be removed from one of the main turns and then a couple of other areas to be smoothed out and the traffic to be made decent and the noise to come down and the signals to disappear and to get a.........aaah....too much wishful thinking!!! but hey.....you never get anything unless you actually hope or wish for it!

The weather is pretty pleasnt now. The sun is out, but mercifully doesnt attempt to roast us out when we step onto the street and the wind is blowing pretty pleasant these days. On saturday I took my mum to one of her cousins places that was a 30 min locating activity. I had no plans to hang out there so I tried to hook up with a few friends, thankfully neither they nor I confirmed on the meetup otherwise it would have been tough. I wouldnt have been able to make it. We found the house after driving trough the same lane 3 times in a pursuit for their name plate! Interestingly enough, they had a very desi name spelt angrezi style hence it was over looked, but I did remember passing by it in the very first go.

Sunday, I woke up with a killer pain in my back. It happens everytime I sleep beyond 7/8 hours and is sort of bothering me. But the best part is that it goes away within a couple of hours once I'm out of bed and moving about. Maybe I'm just not used to lying arond, that be good...no?

We drove around in search of a couple of home appliances and I showed my new office to mum and the bros that were along. She be happy.

They say no news is good news, wich essentially means that people can in circumstances be happy without any material changes to ones life. The occurence of an event is often unconnected to happiness.

My phone is still dead and if any reader of this blog knows anyone at PTCL, can someone please please help me get this fixed? its getting to my nerves now! Im actually on the phone right now and listening to PTCL's music as I try to register yet another complaint about the damn thing!

Oh, and the attack of the random orkut adders has started yet again. I think they come in waves and hunt in packs. Sometimes there is complete and utter silence, other times they comes on 2s, 3s and once even 5 at a time!

Sick!

Darkness falls

2006-08-24T09:16:00.000+05:00

I spin in silence, between the winds and the shadows. The darkness creeps deeper, the shadows, fight stronger, each racing to survive. The winds, seemingly calm, stir up moments of time, lost so far behind. The only thing thats real amongst all this, is the self inflicted pain, possibly only to see if I were still alive.

There is a hole in my skin, the blood refused to flow, I dress myself in thorns, yet I feel not the slightest pinch. My thoughts are broken, ideas frozen, emotion silent. Someone else is there, beyond repair. What I have turned into. There, is now someone else, I am lost.

How I wished the night had never fallen. It fell, I fell, broken to infinite pieces. As I sit here, searching, stealing, hiding from it all, recollecting myself in whatever manner possible. There is very little that can be done.

There is the complete, and there is the part. I am the part, my whole is broken. My life is broken. Everything around me fades, into the darkness, into the black light that blinds me, casting shadows that shower the flames that have fought back from within me.

Moving in...Flying out...

2006-08-23T17:12:00.000+05:00

Moving into a new office is just as much hassle (or a reason to start afresh) as moving into a new home. I have formally moved into the new office today and things so far look good. The internet service is here (after a long wait the other day), the tea will taste different for reasons of change of a tea making person. Lunch menus will probably change too, not to mention an A/C that i can shut off when I dont need it. At the other place, while I started out with a room to my own, I ended up sharing it with a partner and another company employee. The company employee was not our company, he belonged to the company we were situated at. This place, however, will be more to ourselves.

The business partner has his own room, I have my own, with a sweet little black coloured glass-top table and decently toned down lamps. Not to mention this place actually has access to sunlight :).

Tons of stuff yet to get and we'll keep coming across with things that we feel are missing. Not to mention, heres an opportunity to make this place actually look like an office.

Will post pix of the new place soon enough....but currently more important on my head is the day-out-of-town trip I need to make tomorrow.

Back...

2006-08-23T10:03:00.000+05:00

So here I am again. The rains have been quite a pain. Blessings they may be, but considering the damage it brings to a poorly infrastructured city, we are better of with lighter showers, provided they occur on a slightly more frequent basis.

The long long weekends really put me off. Considering my world domination plan, there are several things I need to do on certain time frames. If one time frame is missed, there is inevitably a domino effect.

Im currently at the new office, waiting for the ISP guys to come and configure the internet service here. Hoping all goes well soon, I plan to move into this new location with in the next 2/3 days at most. The view is good here, there happens to be a nursery right opposite my office, which makes things kinda pleasant. Now all thats needed is a set of window shades / blinds or something that functions to that effect, a power socket near my seat, a better chair and some rubber plugs to stop the glass on my table from moving. Oh yeah, no telephone sets here either.

The sky looked pretty ominous this yesterday, thankfully no hard rain, else a lot would have been washed out again.

It drizzled a while ago and I have external meetings.....lets hope things stay sane.

The Thursday Tale...

2006-08-19T09:30:00.000+05:00

Here i go again, blogging from my cell, thanks to my dead phone line which has left a significant deal of my home in communication darkness.

Phone has been dead since noon on wednesday, thanks to blind ploughing activity in one of the plains which damaged the cables.

Come thursday, i left for office a bit late since it rained slightly on wednesday too, which has tendencies to have extremely lasting effects on your car at times.

While on my way to work, i used almost a million tissues to wipe off the perspiration after feeling like a constantly-lightly-squeezed-wet-sponge.

Office was cool, started raining at 4, little did we know it would be that mad!

When i left the office at 5:30, i was having a tough time looking out the car thanks to the constant condensation on the windscreen.

Managed to drive, slowly, steadily, only to find that i was heading for the worst jam ever. Just as i took a turn at regent to hit sf and went down by less than a km, everything came to a standstill. Then on, there was movement, only a few metres or so.

The rain was beating down hard, very very hard, and actually did a very thorough body cleaning job of the car.

I started contacting friends, who i assumed were stuck in the jam on the same route in an attempt to gather info.

One friend had lost her car to flooding under a bridge about 3 km down the same road and that point was my eventual path of passage. The lack of movement there was the reason this entire hold up was taking place.

There were signs of slight movements every few mins or so and we did move a few inches once in a while. The only logical option was to sit out, and wait till the movement was realistic.

The rain stopped a few minutes on and i battled the traffic on my left to move into a service lane and parked there.

My growling tummy only found a drink since the store at the nearby fuel station only had drinks and lubricants. I preferred the former.

I waited out a good deal of time, about 3 hours listening to music, smsing friends be im-ing over the phone.

Traffic started moving and it seemed the the water was clearing out.

Jumped into the cockpit again and charged down the road. 10 mins down, saw another holdup and was guided to use to opposite side of the road by a gang of young men who were helping people cross the divide. I jumped in too and resumed my charging down the road. Eventual conclusion: another jam. After waiting there for about an hour, i saw people pulling u-turns and actually heading the way that the road is supposed to be driven on.

I teamed up with bro, who was stuck nearby and we decided to take the tariq road route, which had been pronounced clear thanks to the radio updates, but not without grabbing a bite.

We rendezvoused (is that a word?) at a kfc on the same road, and after discovering that they were out of stock, we hit kfc at tariq road. Killed the fire in the belly and then drove straight home.

Got there by 1.30 in the night, but couldnt help noticing the thin number of cars in the area. I guess many more people still stuck in the jam.

Crashed in bed. Off to sleep. Friday was obviously a bad day to head to work, so i chilled at home, watched v for vandetta.

Its saturday morning now, light drizzle in progress, i hope no more mad rains come through. I hope my phoneline gets fixed?

30 min indie movie review....

2006-08-15T13:21:00.000+05:00

For those wondering, the movie did not last 30 mins, but for me, it started and ended after a merciless crash within those 30 mins. The following post will answer a lot of queries regarding my disinterest in Indian flicks. The post is not meant to hurt anyone, and is purely an expression of my personal opinion regarding a particular indian movie.

Said movie is titled "Corporate" and was about the ups and downs of the corporate world in India. I started watching the movie where 2 "top executives", the CEO and the project head were sitting discussing the ground water contamination levels at the bottling plant location just 2 weeks prior to the launch of a soft drink.

Question 1, if the company is a soft drink company, why does it need a project head to start off with?

Question 2, one of the top execs was the CEOs brother in law, the other was the female the brother in law had a relationship with. What sort of corporate was this?

Question 3, the company was projected to be a foreign firm (lets keep it at franchise at the moment). What sort of foreign firm will allow such callousness?

Coming to financials, this company, was in operations, and was about to have a Rs. 4,000 crore public issue. Why the hell cant they talk in normal numbers?/ Rs. 4,000 crores = Rs. 40,000,000,000. Now thats one huge public issue for a company thats already captured 60% market share using ONE plant!.

India is a huge country, even Pakistan has 4-5 bottling plants for Pepsi alone! So if it already has that much market share, what other business does it want? 40 billion is a huge amount! Over 7 billion USD! That has to be the largest public offering in the world ever! pretty ambitious they be I guess!

The group itself, was over 20,000 crores....so approx. 36 billion USD in size? Thats massive. With that kind of power under your belt, even the prime minister would shit a ton of bricks before bothering you. So why the hell were they scared of a bloody enquiry commission? and they made it seem as if the law is very strict! such BS i swear! What happened to the Bofors scandal? What happened to the Tehelka people? What about the persons implicated in teh Union Carbide incident? For those who dont know, the Union Carbide pesticide plant disaster in Bhopal is one of the worst in industrial history after the Chernobyl disaster!

Nothing happens to anyone.

This movie was clearly written by someone highly impressed by the corporate world, but obviously knew nothing.

I watched Inside Man last night, a dialogue from Denzel Washington: Don't bullshit the bullshitter.

Its pretty self explanatory why I only watched a part of it.

A long long weekend.....

2006-08-15T10:18:00.000+05:00

A long weekend started with a quickie....all saturday I was out of home getting on ething after the other done and then finally got home at about 11.30 or something. Good part is my home PC is now back to its functional self hence I shall now be able to load a lot more music into my lappie. That process was stalled ever since my monitor frizzed out on me about 2/3 weeks back and we held up because of the moist weather. It was happening to quite a lot of people, therefore sadness subdued, selfish me.

Nothingness prevailed on sunday, except a beautiful beautiful rain spell that left us all.....well...spellbound seems like the right word to me. Monday, Independence day. I really moving post by Jaded here. It left me mesmerized, so true to the core, so honest, so sadly, yet madly true.

I also, for the first time in quite a while, watched an indian movie (now that wont be completely true, i just watched about 30/40 mins of it). That, id like to dedicate a whole post to......but I also watched 2 movies almost back to back...after ages!

Im catching up....i like!

Beauty Contest.....

2006-08-11T10:01:00.000+05:00

NO!!!! Not the one you guys are thinking....this one is purely in I-Banking terms. Projects are paraded before prospective investors, and the greediest one who has an appetite takes a jump at it and a stake. Its not on open biddings, Its like every prospective investir gets his/her private show ;)

The interest, ofcourse, is followed up by term sheets and Investors try to offer the best terms for their participation. Heres where the game gets real dirty. You take X investor's termsheet, and use it to get better terms from Y. You end up doing multiple rounds to each one of them, and each time they improve terms!

The investors know this happens, but they cant help it either.

So apparently as it may seem from my un-moving party dude image that im having a beauty contest at the party den im famed to have, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! THAT IS NOT THE CASE!!!!

The answer to our project lies in a beauty contest, so we concluded in our meeting on wednesday.

I guess a week or two to go.

Stuck.....continued

2006-08-11T09:39:00.000+05:00

Alright...so lets kick this off where we left off. I was thinking weather I should be taking the risk of venturing onto the road or not. I actually did go down, but very frankly, came back up after being scared. Ive seen that road well enough and have also used it to a great deal on for the greater part of a year during those timings. Something definitely felt wrong.

Started a chit chat with the restaurant manager and he served me tea, desi style, the way we like it, as against the standard menu tea they generally serve. Ah...good one that was.

Was getting updates on the traffic scenario on the other exit from my elder bro, who ventured into a road and told me things were moving. I told him to let me know as soon as he could find a decent passage through. The minute he hit Sharah e Faisal, he gave me a buzz, and let me in on his clear entrance. I followed his tail though and voila....an open road.

Sped down like mad and was home in 20 mins (once i hit the road that is).

Stuck!

2006-08-08T19:51:00.000+05:00

This post is titled so because its the position im in right now. Who thought id be blogging from my cell sitting in an Indulge cafe on my way home only cos i was stuck in 2 consecutive traffic jams.

Its mad. I was driving from iic, pulled a u turn near the cm house and headed for clifton through the bypass. After wading through clifton to kh-ittehad, i cant get on to the sh-e-millat ext.

Its been a while and the traffic looks pretty bad on the opposite side.

There is some sindhi drama being shot here, and the whole staff is looking. This place is never crowded hence i guess im not the centre of attention right now.

I wish the roads open up soon, cos my plans of headin home early look dashed right now.

Dost sent a message, finally some contact with someone i know. Low on cell credit, hence would have tossed call to someone.

The movie staff is goin, they have wrapped up things. Im takin another look out the window, looks like things are movin. Point is, e i want to take the shot?

Trade mark action in progress: they shall now play the music i want them to.

Lunch rants!

2006-08-07T14:23:00.000+05:00

Im sittin at office right now....waiting for my GODDAMN lunch!!!! When the hell will it arrive? I can feel a washing machine turning around in my tummy!!!

Pirates was good last night, had fun at the movie and in a way...I like this Jack Sparrow charachter. He has an interesting way with words and not to mention a fine wit that goes with it.

Im busy otherwise....but I scanned through my Orkut today...and actually deleted friends I did'nt know...sounds weird I know....friends I did'nt know. They were friends only cos that was their orkut status......and thats about it. In real life...I did'nt know these people. Ive also made a brush on ratings.....so some may see changes.....rest.....I apologise to.

Now....where the hell is my lunch???

Something happened. I just don't know what...

2006-08-04T09:54:00.000+05:00

It feels that something has happened. Today was one of the many days when I feel and try my hand at creating something, I have lost the ability to create. I fail to be able to describe a moment. I have lost vision. Once a man of perception, has lost all sense of all he had. I feel lost, barren, broken inside.

Through time I have moved from a story teller, a playwright, and a poet of sorts to what I am today. Nothing. The inability to create makes me feel like I am beyond my body, just a spirit, disjointed from the world. I feel unable to hold, shape and word things the way I want to.

It is purely and induction of the state of mind that I am going through, or rather I have been going through for over the past 4 years. From the end of my advertsing days to the end of marketing management to the start of entreprenurialism. Its been a long joirney. So llittle done, so much more to go. I am not tired, but I contemplate at times as to where I have been and where I belong. Those I have destryed and not those I have made. Those I have lost and those I have gained. Money is no object here.

Introspection leads to analysis, something I believe we must all do from time to time. I do not say we sit and calculate the cost of our actions, whether emotionally driven or calculated. What's done has been done, cannot be undone. We move on just learning what our actions have yielded.

I have realized that to this day, I have gained inner peace, or rather isolated myself from the inner me. Maybe thats just how inner peace is supposed to be. Silent, soft, unstirring.

There is so much more to be said, so much less felt though. Too bad, I dont have the words, or the expression to create it now.

Its like telling a story while you are gagged up, or telling it while you are facing the katabatic winds on a dark night in the December arctics. Maybe telling your story a hundred feet below the tumoultous sea. Each time all alone, each time you are drowning, each time knowing that you are losing yet carrying on. All a means to the end, knowing that its there, but just doing whats needed, not caring what it will bring you or anyone else.

Silent Raindrops...

2006-08-04T09:46:00.000+05:00

A silent raindrop on the window sill. A soft stirring harmony of the raindrops crashing to the ground around yoy. Each a universe on its own, each a dream, a life, a planet on its own. Millions fall by us every minute of this dawning day All gone, forever smashed to a million pieces together, only to come beneath our feet, only to flow back, silently, to meet the dead souls of their own kind.

The ocean endless, never silent, forever relentless. Beating upon the shore, again and again and again. How we mean everythin on the land and nothing in the vast ocean. How we trample smashed droplets under our feet, sweep them away with our wipers, dance when they fall and cry when we fall because of these tiny disjointed microcosms.

The most that we feel with every drop is is sweet tingle on the skin, so soft a goosebump for so short a time. Stirring memories long gone, emotions that were there, but maybe never. Dreamscapes that once were, now barren hinterland.

The universe is not what it used to be, neither will it remain what it is today. We keep changing, everything keeps changing. How we wish we could hold on to what we have today, never let go of what we have so firmly close to our heart, mind and soul. How we wish that time stood still, how we wish that moments cease to kill.

Logical Twists

2006-08-02T07:19:00.000+05:00

Its surprsing when you connect with old school friends once in a a while to realize that everyone is so different from what they wanted to be. I personally was a science freak, and had visions of hard core on ground engineering assignments and planning. What I do now, still is engineering, in a way, but more on an enterprise structural level.

I bumped into an old friend from school on Orkut, Waqar. He was a sure shot MIT kid who was predicted in some CERN or NASA lab. The guy works with a Hedge Fund in the US. Noman was never an accounting and finance guy, he does risk reporting at a major local bank. Goofy was a software kid, he is now an equities research analyst at a major brokerage firm.

I guess it has a lot to do with our education. The role of logic is very supreme. it defies logic of how we all ended up so differently from what we aspired to be. What re-affirms logic, is that we are all (in a way) doing exactly what we would have done if we ended up with our dream jobs. The only issue now is that our dream role is now being applied to a whole new spectrum of business units.

Its strange. Its beautiful. Its life.

Wet Tuesday

2006-08-01T09:42:00.000+05:00

Its a wonderful wet tuesday morning and its 9.04 am as I start typing this post away which will be emailed to my blog. Thats so much mor convenient than actually going to your blog, posting it and then publish testing it. This just takes away a lot of hassle.

I'm home today, considering what I went through yesterday. I battleed the elements in my drive to reach home safe. even though I left the office at 1.30, It was the flood at Main Clifton Road between the Clifton Bridge and Teen Talwar hit people the worst. Several cars were seen stalled and I kept pushing mine through. Once on the bridge, it deserved a nice long petrol breather.

Roaring down Shaharah e Faisal, the water was still flooding most parts, especially the left lanes, hence all traffic was moving glued to the right and yes, it was seriously seriously moving. At 3, I realized I wont be able to make it home for lunch, hence I camped out at DD Tipu Sultan and had a nice little lunch and watched the traffic ease out. It did and I hit the road again, only to Mashallah easily sweep down to home in under 20 mins. Yaaaaaaaay!!!

Right now though, my back hurts. I've always had this problem when I sleep too much, no matter where I sleep. Anything over 7 hours and I end up witha a killer pain that lasts upto 3 hours. More rain forecasted for today and tomorrow. Ill stay home today.

The new specs update, yes I found the balance :)

Mad week...

2006-07-29T13:06:00.000+05:00

It seems that sadly blogging has been reduced to a weekly activity only. More like my sat night hangouts :P. SAD maaayyynnnnn!!!! I shall have to fix this!

The week went mostly busy, lots of time spent finding myself, amongst other things.

The working week ended with a call from a "saat samundar paar" friend who called to check up on me when I was not seen online in Friday. I initially thought I'd end up catching a flu from the rapid weather changes here, but then I realized that the culprit for the weird headache and nose trouble were my specs. This lead me to realize that I had ordered a set about a month ago, which was just still in the wardrobe. Out come the new specs and here start the field trials.

Im a decently finicky person by nature. The fact that my specs are slightly tilted or weighing more on one side of the nose will cause severe troble ranging from headaches to runny noses to dizziness. Today is the first long haul trial of the new set and I can feel slight disproportionate weight alighment on the right side of my nose. Greek for many I know, but thats the only thing on my mind right now while I hear my bro talking to mum about cricket scores and my birthday boy youngest bro playing games on the pc.

The past week has seen wonderful weather and drizzle spells on a frequent basis.

Testing 1..2...3

2006-07-24T07:03:00.000+05:00

Followed a link on Psyched's blog and landed myself the X-men quiz. Now just a clarification, Im not a cartoon charachters person, and especially not the DC comics type things. I only took this because the results on Psyched's blog looked good. For the record, I love snoopy and Garfield.

I scored up as Jean Grey. That name is new to me and I do not know anything about the charachter, except this:

"Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havok. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic"

Jean Grey

70%

Cyclops

60%

Storm

60%

Beast

60%

Colossus

50%

Iceman

50%

Rogue

45%

Gambit

40%

Emma Frost

35%

Wolverine

25%

Nightcrawler

10%

I was hoping to land myself a male character!

Took another, 7 deadly sins quiz and it turns out Sloth will have the best of me.

Greed:
Gluttony:
Wrath:
Sloth:
Envy:
Lust:
Pride:

I don't think I'll have lunch today....:S

Updates for a week....

2006-07-23T00:56:00.000+05:00

Finally, some time to blog!!!

It has been a massively busy week, which ends with a day of slight sadness, considering summer fun will no longer be a part of my mornings. Don't get me wrong, the weather has'nt improved, just that summer mornings won't be the same again.

Taking over the world is in progress, but there had been hiccups considering my throat had been acting up from last weeks mad Sunday. Which reminds me that is yet to be blogged. Sunday morning started off with the usual breakfast ritual and family awaragardi plan. we started off at seaview and ended up enjoying the crazy crashing arabian sea at Sandspit. Pix here. Best part was when I sat on a nice looking sea facing rock (which seemed dry by the looks of it) and was doused with a an instant shower. Just as I started to make sense of what had just happened to me, another sudden shower, this time harder and much more water. So much for lightning doest strike the same place twice.

Anyhow, the real culprit behind the bad throat was the atrociously tasty paan which I decided to sinfully indulge in after a late lunch at almost 4 pm. I generally always avoid pans since my tonsilitis (I am not a doctor, dont expect me to know how to spell this) drama because what starts off as a good experience ends off as a bad week. This occasion was one of them.

Most of the week was spent patching up information on the take over plans and dissuading people from believing that I was a hard-core party animal. It turns out that during the past week, over three different people on separate occasions hinted at my "party crazy" habits. I have no idea what gave them the impression on that front, but rest assured that this was not the first time. The weirdest was one occasion when a gentleman from my old office (who moved to Karachi from up north) asked me if I could arrange for a passes to one of the city's popular parties. The greater part of the deal was, he needed an escort too!

I AM NOT A PIMP! (well, atleast not the last time i checked; which by the way was 2 seconds ago).

For those who yet do not know and still do not understand the crux of this discourse and are about to as "zulekha mard thee ya aurat?", I am not a party animal.

Back to the week. Busy nonetheless, but what do you do when at the end of a perfectly smooth week, someone takes you for a low life schmuk that has no respect for others' privacy or fears. To top it all off, you refer to that person as a friend and vice versa. Deeply affected I am, but I'm glad that this issue has now been settled over a cake away from my city.

I prefer chocolate...only chocolate. Hob Nob shall do just fine.

And ooh....3 more random adders this week.....damn!

Groove: Fade to black - Apocalyptica

Broke Lunch...

2006-07-14T15:49:00.000+05:00

After ages of endless wandering, I finally managed to open a bank account. What pushed me for it was the fact that I was lethally broke and had to borrow cash from my younger bro to make the initial deposit. I had cash, or cash equivalents rather. Crossed cheques which I needed to put in a back to get my cash. First you work to get paid, then you work again to ACTUALLY get paid. When is this going to end? No I'm not planning a retirement!

You have money, that you cant spend! Talk about being broke!!

Its hot today, pretty hot compared to the pleasant breeze that was blowing yesterday and the day before. For some reason, I just switched off my ac, maybe cos it just wouldnt stop blowing ice on me!

So we move on, people in Lahore and Isloo are having fun in the rain.

The office I'm currently at is a temporary. There is this one gentleman who I seemingly a pretty decent guy, but on and off, he walks out of his office, comes outside my window, lights up and dials a number on his cell and keeps talking for centuries! I can often hear him inside my room too. Thankfully at the new office, I will be located upstairs so that curtails a bit of this mindless suspicion.

Its almost 3, I've just ordered lunch and thankfully Hennys was sweet enough to deliver 1 sandwich! which is cool!

It just arrived!....I shall now eat. BTW, what do you guys prefer? warm sandwiches or cold??

On another note, I had to turn on the word verification thing on my blog, sadly.

Weedy Isloo...

2006-07-12T18:36:00.000+05:00

After a massively back to back meeting packed Monday, I had to shuttle off to Islamabad on Tuesday. The trip started off with waking up at 4.30 in the night and was an overall fun experience. The fun started at the airport when I was in the check in queue. A nice, seemingly happy aunty was occupying the check in counter while her kids (easily both over 17) were getting the basg strapped. They started off with the wrong strapping and then the aunty started screaming "come soon, come soon". COME SOON???? Please, don't abuse a language if you don't know it. Small issues continued. On the way out of the aircraft in Islamabad, the kids were fighting "I'll catch this bag, you catch that one"....??

If they were all catching, who was throwing the bag?

It drizzled when I landed there, and Islamabad was its usual self. Laid back, ego loaded. There is never anything special about Isloo, unless you are there in winter. Otherwse, its hot; and if it isnt hot, it certainly gets humid which feels worse considering the lack of a breeze.

I had a couple of meetings, one guy did'nt know what he was expecting from our meeting, the other was too easy giving, almost too easy to be true I figured.

The best part about being in Isloo was the hangout with a great friend S. Its been ages since we met and I just cant imagine the way she was all out there offering her hospitality. At a couple of occasions I felt guily for bothering her work routine. A decent bit of one-on-one, something that had been out for ages. Evening was good too, S's sis was pulled in and she learnt a lot, I must say :P.

Im in the aircraft at the moment as I type this, and even though I know I wont post this before Wednesday morning, I guess it was best to just make use of the time at hand. Thankfully there were no scenes of desparate separation at the airport at the airport this time round as there was were in Lahore. Its raining again here. What really does not make any sense is to why the aircraft staff are distributing newspapers to read to the passesngers. Its almost 11 pm for God's sake! Its history now! Whats worse, the guy to across my aisle decided to take off his shoes and socks.

So after waking up 4.30 in the morning, I arrived home at almost 2 in the night. Extensive delays caused by a mad lightning storm that delayed take off to a great extent!

Oh, and I bought books.

Oh, and did you guys know that there are small marajuana plants almost all over Islamabad?

Respect the Tag...

2006-07-09T00:34:00.000+05:00

Was recently reminded about being tagged by Suga. So here goes nothing..

BEST:
1. Male friend: hmm...lemme see now...Saad Q, Ali G, Wasim L more still there yaar...
2. Female friend: I dont want to die young...
3. Vacation: dont quite remember when I actually had one!

WORST:
1. Time of day: When mum asks me to decide what she should make for dinner..no matter what time that question comes in..
2. Day of the week: hmm...when there are deadlines to meet!
3. Color crayon: the ganda wala brown!

LAST:
1. Person you talked to that goes to your school: school? RC..no no...Kausar
2. Talked to on the phone: does listening to "aap ke matloob anumber se jawaab nahin aa raha" qualify?
3. Text: Sent or recieved? both to and from Shazzu btw...
4. Person who Instant Messaged: IN@. "What u updo dude"??

TODAY:
1. What are you doing now: Bunjee jumping over the French Guyana...
2. Wearing: A spacesuit...

TOMORROW:
1. Is: Sunday
2. Got any plans: Morning Halwa puri! Plus watching World Cup Soccer Finals with friends hopefully.
3. Goal: To get some papers ready.....
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: Hmm.....none as such...

FAVORITE
1. Number: Anything goes...
2. Song: Changes with moods, time of day, etc tec
3. Color: Depends on the item in question, but blue or black generally..

CURRENTLY:
1. Missing Someone: The GANG!
2. Mood: Smooth...
3. Wanting: A more comfortable chair..

TRUE/FALSE:
I am a cuddler: False....once in a while I guess…
I am a morning person: So True!!
I am a perfectionist: Depends on the matter in question. Mission critical stuff has to be perfect. Eg. you space suit has to be perfect, your home chappals can be damaged.
I am an only child: Nope
I am currently in my pajamas: Shorts actually...:P
I am currently pregnant: Im male...
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: Nope...False
I am left handed: False
I am addicted to Blogging: Partially true
I am online 24/7: False
I am very shy around the opposite gender: True and false, depends more on the person actually.
I can be paranoid at times: Never, SO FALSE!
I currently have a crush on someone: False false FALSE
I currently regret something that I have done: False!
I enjoy country music: Which country???
I enjoy smoothies: Not a great fan, but once in a while...
I enjoy talking on the phone: Depends on who's on the other side, and the state of my ear!
I have a hard time paying attention at school/work: Depends!
I have a hidden talent: Haha! Would'nt be hidden if I knew about it now, would it?
I have a lot to learn: SO TRUE
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: Not as such, just that somethings will stir up controversies that I dont want to get into. Chapters of the past that have been buried.

ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone?: Nope
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?: A is MAD!!!
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone: No
4. Ever had something thrown at you: All the time!
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell and scream?: I go silent....

EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party for you: No..:(
2. Are you easily excited: Yes
3. What you're most excited about: Taking over the world....
4. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?: Is that tax free?
5. If you could have anything right now what would it be?: A trip...

SELF-DISCOVERY
1. Name: Inspirex / Imtiaz
2. Where were you born?: Dubai
3. Whats your main goal in life?: To keep those around me happy, to die with no regrets, to be remembered in good terms. Thats all.
4. How do you want to die?: Peaceful, Silent, away from loved ones...

OPINIONS
1. Sex before marriage?: Not in favour...
2. Gay Marriage?: errr....NO!
3. Lower the Drinking age?: Why not just end it?
4. Recycling?: Yes..

DREAMS
1. What was your latest dream?: I hardly dream anymore....
2. Have any of your dreams come true?:..Im a deja vu person, so yes, those do come true....ALWAYS..its scary!!
3. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had?: Dont remember...

1. Straight, Gay, Bi?: Straight...all the way!
2. Do you have a bf/gf?: Neither
3. Do you have a crush?: Nope..

Q: How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
A: 1

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Green...

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
A: Wake up!

Q: What color are your walls?
A: Off White

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A: None, Im at home, in my shorts and Tee. Wallets on my bed.

Q: I can't wait till…?
A: Launch...dont ask what...

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: Over 2 years ago...

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A: Ultimate Fish Masala

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Nothing! I never borrow clothes! (except once, when I had to borrow mny younger bro's Shirt, cos I had to go to a meeting and had word a T shirt that day...

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: Gmail!

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: All in one piece guys....nothing so far!

HAVE YOU EVER.
1. Have you ever failed a class?: Never
2. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd?: Yes
3. Have you ever not taken a shower for 3 days?: Never
4. Have you ever slept with a night light?: Others have left it on...
5. Have you ever danced in the rain?: Yes..
6. Have you ever lied?: Of course…
7. Have you ever had contacts?: No
8. Have you ever tripped over something stupid?: Actually, my own shoelaces! and a banana peel! classic!

PICK ONE.
1. Samosa, Pakora, Kebab: ALL!
2. Bollywood, Lollywood, Hollywood: Hollywood
3. Love marriage, Arranged marriage: Either, love should be arranged though....
4. Honeymoon, no moon: Nothin specific
5. How many kids would u like 1,2, 3+ : Well think of crossing the bridge when we get there!!
6. Kulfi, Ice cream : Ice cream!
7. Shah ruk khan, Orlando Bloom : Hain?? Mira Sorvino...;)
8. Meenar-e-Pakistan, Eiffel Tower : Eiffel!
9. Lahore, Khi, Islmbad : Karachi!

Changing...

2006-07-08T23:27:00.000+05:00

There comes a moment, or a day in everyones life which instinctively strikes you as the moment which changed the path of the future. Today was one such day. May 19 was when it all started. I felt like a small unit, part of a larger machine, sliding off gently and smoothly and moving into my own orbit. Though even before this I was teadily on course, but today the target seems to have locked on.

Now there is just a lot of course plotting and directional correction to do. Ideas to develop, revolutions to introduce and create a venture that will shape so much for so many people.

I am happy, conent, busy and just getting started. InshaAllah.

PS. I shall share more details about my global domination plans as soon as it becomes possible to make a statement. Until then, I need your prayers and wishes.

Dreaming...

2006-07-05T16:51:00.000+05:00

Things have been comin along busy busy, so I might not have too much time to ponder over many things now. Its nice, easy, enterprisingly exciting and scary at the same time. Too much fluidity.

2 new adders, one doesnt have an existing profile. Seems he created one, added me and then deleted it :P. Im actually scared of this weird attention. It shudders me to think what would happen if I was ACTUALLY popular! Thankfully, im not the kind who likes to stand infront of the camera.

I havent created anything in a long time, something over 18 months I guess. A friend who visits this blog recommended I restart, but I shudder at the thoughts that run through my mind. Should I blog those?

Imtiaz, you're Crazy Cool

2006-07-04T10:40:00.000+05:00

I took a Tickle Test yesterday, and heres what they have to say about me

"You taking the tried and true path? We doubt it. A wild child with lots of passion, you often prefer to leap without looking. This means you don't mind taking a chance or getting in a little trouble from time to time. If you learned something new or pushed yourself, then hey, it was worth it.

Sure, you've got a sensible side, too, but you'd rather get lost in the moment and do something no one else has done before. Sound pretty cool? It certainly is."

Get lost in the moment?? Leap without looking? Are they even talking about me????????

Cloudy Mondays

2006-07-03T22:44:00.000+05:00

I like cloudy mornings, not always, but almost always. I love rain and I'm mad about thunder storms. I love the way streaks of mild lilac tear through the skies in a million veins followed by a divine rumble. Rain, how beautiful is the rain. It didn't rain today. Sad.

I should call if I want to talk. What should I say? What would I say? I want to say what you cannot hear, understand or feel. You wish not to hear what I say, for you fear the the integrity of your mind, heart and soul. You know I can tear you world apart, your heaven tumultuous, your fires pacified.

Was in meetings from two to six today, straight shot. More tomorrow. Days will be hectic now. The swords are ready.

Saturdays

2006-07-03T22:37:00.000+05:00

Saturdays are very different now. For about 5 years that I have been working, this is the first time ever that my Saturdays are a break. This was my fourth non-working Saturday and generally, I'm trying to catch up on lost home time. My work has been maddening and I am madder. The first Saturday off from work, I slept a good length, waking up with a back broken to a million pieces. Sadly I cant sleep like many do, for hours on end. No matter where I decide to catch my much needed ZZZZ's, my back starts hurting at anything beyond 7 hours. It works more like a biological clock. My time to get up. If I have to sleep more (when on medication etc...), I wake up worse than I slept.

The second and third Saturdays I spent at home, cursing the idiot heat and barely getting anything done. This Saturday, however, I decided to settle all unfinished scores. Hit the road dead of midday with mum & two of my brothers, agenda hand, resolved to kill and unstoppably strong.

For the first time ever, We've managed to shoot an entire list trough. Not to mention the slight adventure we had en-route. While munching down lunch in the car, this gentleman parked his spanking behind our car. Which meant we had to pull a turn while reversing back out. We were at a slope and past a small ridge. I reversed the car, went past the car, but got stuck in the ridge. The engine died and the front bumper kissed the drivers door. The car wouldn't restart, and needed a push out. The push was very much there, but the ridge put up a decent resistance, which meant that the car scraped the city at least four times. 5 men and my heart in my mouth later, it was out of the ridge. I opened the hood, trying to analyze the issue. The damaged car's driver came, opened the door, sat and drove off. WHAT?? HE DROVE OFF???? Yes, he drove off. Poor guy didn't even see what happened to his car, and I was a happier man!

Come Saturday night, and it was tons more fun, the events of the night shall remain unblogged. Consider this an incentive for your imaginations to run wild.

I Just Wanna Live

2006-06-29T17:59:00.000+05:00

Another blazing hot day goes by without any respite. Something I forgot to mention yesterday was the kick-ass-est chicken karahi ive ever had! Yes, I had that night before last and I cant wait to loose myself into it again. It was just tooooooo great!! (droollllsss).

I comes to town tomorrow morning I guess I got unreasonably mad at I for not having time on this trip. I was being, without a shadow of doubt, selfish. Something I should not have done.

Moving on, heres an update most of you must beb waiting for. No im not getting hitched. No one ties me down so soon! Im just 26 and I shall party for about 2, maybe 3 more years. Its another random adder!!!! This time, the name appearing is Hilary Duff! Thankfully the email address is not remotely connected to her website. Does she have one? Im assuming she does.

When I told another friend about this random adder phenomenon, she says its my "animal magnetism". It shudders me to think what would happen if these random adders were physically infront of me.

To N, I dedicate the song "I Just Wanna Live", by Good Charlotte. N, This is the song you should shout out to the whole goddamned world.

AAArrrrrrggghhhh!!!!!

2006-06-28T18:29:00.000+05:00

Now the muggy hot weather is getting real real bad. I dont know if any of the karachi based readers have noticed, but it did drizzle ever so slightly this morning. It rained in Lahore yesterday and just while i was expecting some here, it drizzled, and then frizzled. BAD!!

I had a meeting midday today, and the best part is about brokering a deal between two companies. Of course brokering does not mean I made money, but just knowing that these people are eeting through your connections is enough. There will hopefully a lot more of that going on now. To be technically correct, i arranged a meeting and broke the ice. From there on, they can take it as they please.

Back to my morning. Yes, had a great one. Drizzle, followed by some great music amongst my channel flipping spree.

Its way past a standard lunch time, almost half past 4 and im at Time Out, having lunch, typing this and making notes of whatever else races my mind. Not mention the crappy music in the background isnt really helping me think at all!!!

Yaaay....im back to my office....only to leave again in a while.

I decided to resume phtography today, but I think I'll wait till the weather smoothens out.

Decisions...

2006-06-26T18:40:00.000+05:00

The weather looks a lot better since 10 in the morning. Had a couple of meetings, and thankfully it was cloudy all over. The most irritating thing today was the generator. Yes, we have a royal generator now at the office. Now that things will continue working in the event of a power breakdown, my room will also keep vibrating by virtue of its proximity to the generator.

Had a fun fun day yesteday, left home at 4, drove arond town like mad then ended up at Hawkes Bay at 7 in the evening. Totally unplanned, hence not the beach, but the rocky waterfront. The beach had disappeared anyway, high tide had crept in and as we stood by there, enjoying the breeze, the we could feel the increasing strength in the waves.

Power breakdowns continue.

Today I felt the strength of a decision. I was asked today if I would continue funding a certain business had I been given the choice. I have been in a consulting role on that business lately, hence the question came to me. I wiggled out of any liability to answer, or liability from any loss in the event a decision was made, with my inputs on the business itself and hwo it could strenthen itself. The moment was groundshaking. More than what the generator did.

Im still shaking, better go home.

Mad...

2006-06-25T00:23:00.000+05:00

Yesterday, I was at office till almost 10 pm, then headed of to the Valima, which wasnt all that fun (trust me to say that about any shaadi-related event). Got home at almost 12.30, and slept at about 1. Today was the day of searing heat, mindblowing laziness, ass kicking headache and nothingness. I woke up at 12.30 (or was it 1.30) with a slicing backache (yes, i get that when i sleep anything beyond 7 hours). I picked up Deception Point and am already almost 75% through in a day. The rest of the day was spent cursing the heat and the random orkut adders. Well, mostly cursing the random adders and as Checkmate pointed out, actually considering the fact that there could actually have been a conspiracy to screw with my head. I guess that might have actually added to the headache. Hmm...Checkmate, thou be guilty now. Anyway...now chillin to the music, feelin a lot better. Will sleep in a while... Groove to the mood: Only this moment, Royksopp.

Long day...longer still!!!

2006-06-23T19:53:00.000+05:00

Its been a long day today, having a breather and typing this post out. Had to take a drive to SITE today in an AC less car.....and as a friend rightly put it, with my back plastered to the leather seats.

Its 7.40 and I'm still at office...primarily cos there are a few things that I can finish off in straight stretches of dedication rather than nasty interrupting phone calls, internet service interruptions and power plays in between.

The secondary reason is I have a friends valima to attend within 2 km from my office. Whilst the drive home would take almost 45 mins to get there, and approx 30 mins back...I guess it'll be just a waste of time.

What's more? I just discovered I had 2 more random adders!! and on of them calls himself "piyaar.com", the other one was a female....with threethousandandsomethingsomething friends. I'm sure this figure increases by the hour, considering the number of desperate 'fraaannddshipp"ers out there.

My coke is over..and I'll get back to work,...

Cheers!

And again!

2006-06-22T19:49:00.000+05:00

Ok, this is the first time I'd doing this. 2 blog posts in a single day. I finally made it to Costa. Now I'm here, updating some stuff on my pc thanks to the better and more reliable internet speed and while happens, working on some stuff.

All this confidentiality thing at times keeps me on my edges. At times, I feel my social circle feels betrayed, at the fact that I'm not telling them what I'm doing. All this hiding business makes me sometimes feel as if I'm engaged in something taboo. Strange...haina?

Well, the kids on the table next to me are irritatingly shrill but ill forgive them for now. This isn't my office, for if it was, they would be here.

Back to work...back to work...

Summer Morning...

2006-06-22T10:41:00.000+05:00

This morning started blazing hot. Im happy though that after yesterdays car fiasco, I managed to get the car in the evening. After a starter motor servicing on saturday, apprently the electrician looped a cable set underneath it rather than over it. Which resulted in the cables being caught up in the axles, wound up into the axles and breaking off. Also, my cars transmissoin oil leaked out, which I assumed was engine oil when i stopped the car to take a look at the Baloch Colony bridge. When I got to office, the car didnt re-start after the switch off. Hence the frantic mechanic call and weird condition till the mechanic came over and told me that it was'nt the engine and that it will be fixed by evening. He towed the car off to his workshop...and it was done by evening. Good ho gaya....:D

Also, how often do u come across a person named Ishag in your lives? i met one yesterday. Nothing else to say on this.

Back to the blazing heat. Yes, its very very hot! I thought Id jet off to Costa this morning for hot choc (dont get me wrong, im an espresso freak, but there si no wireless free internet there, plus there is no point going there if one is alone).

Sigh...how I miss my DD mornings with A. Must give A a call today and remind A of the sins. I ended up leaving late, with no breakfast, the plan didnt materialize so it didnt work out and here I am at office enjoying summer in my chilled room.

Im hungry...

Update to nothingness...and bad ads!

2006-06-20T10:23:00.000+05:00

These days, life thankfully seems to be going smooth (aside from the daily lunch dilemma). But generally, its nice, cool and fun. The responsibilities and the pressures seem worth it. The pressure is self inflicted and majorly borders on self discipline. It only takes one more closer to the actual goal.

On the world cup, my blog will say nothing. Everyone else has said it, I need not say anything.

There is not much to be said actually right now, or these days in general. There are no major changes since the last blog post.

Im sitting in my balcony right now, typing away this post which will be uploaded automatically in the morning. The best part about this place is that I finally have time to talk to my family members. Ive felt that ive neglected my mum for the longest time now. No more of this. Viva la Liberation! I come home early now, spend time with mum & the brothers. Its gratifying.

Very soon, I hope to restart my reading habits and start watching movies too. Havent had a chance to do those in over 6 months now.

The big bad ad man in me has reawaken. Telenor, after the whole long "Expect more" drama has no rebranded to "The smart call", and has a totally different logo and all. First the launch, then they do D Juice which was a joke of a launch, then they rebrand. Whats gotten into these people? And if you have ever heard their opera style urdu ad on radio, you'd throw up. When will people learn that the market dynamics in a country like Pakistan are somewhat different compared to global trends!!

The Mobilink Jazz Load ad starts off with an "oh adnan.." and goes into utter madness. Plus when will these hundredsofmillionsofrupeespercampaign spending people realize that you cant run a TV ad on radio. It kills the impact by over 70%! Spend just "A FEW THOUSAND" on radio edit and get something with the money! Visual dissociation does NOT work!

There are more bad ads that I might want to rave about, but ill sip on my chai for now.

The metblog team has now expanded, we now have a full army of 20 writers thats charging away at (almost) full throttle.

By the way, I bump into this really old acquaintence at work over G-talk now, so yes, we are getting back in touch.

I forgot to add one thing though. I never realized summer could be this FUN!

Randomness....

2006-06-13T11:11:00.000+05:00

Ok, so my blog is titled Random Silence....so what?

Does that in anyway solicit or announce the fact that I am looking for randomness??

For the past one week, I have been hounded by random people adding me on orkut. It so ticks me off!!!

I only add people I know, like I did yeterday..

If Ive met you, or most probably even spoken to you casually over the phone and we enjoy a decent chit chat, ill add you, but not if you dont know me at all and I dont knwo you at all either!!!

This one person whose invite i recieved just this morning is the same person whose invite i ignored and allowed to expire last week and here it comes again!

Aaargghh!!!!

Sailing...

2006-06-12T14:01:00.000+05:00

Nothing to blog about these days. Work is smooth, life is peaceful, for a change I actually get home early and also manage to bug my family a bit more often.

Work is good, everything steadily falling into place; and while having no boss has its own element of fun, the added responsibility is manifold.

One feels accountable to oneself, but at the same time, one has to retain focus. The universe seems different when you look at it from an entreprenurial perspective. Everything feels and seems so much more different. Expansion opporunities know no boundaries and you only need to work in the right direction to achieve your dreams.

The weather is finally looking pleasant here....

On the agenda: Waiting for my laptop to stroll in, lining up between meetings here, upcountry and social commitments...

Realization

2006-06-06T10:14:00.000+05:00

While having a discussion with a friend last night, I realzed that my blog has been missing a post for quite a while. So here it is, an update to my life these days.

Well, the new secret mission is coming along pretty smoothly MashaAllah. The right things happening at the right time and all. I guess pretty soon its junt going to be a matter of publicly declaring what I do. A couple of my friends have recently explicitly stated that I do nothing, and that the secrecy thing is just a cover up. This leads me to think how well they know me. First of all, they should know that I dont have an ego issue, so not doing any thing means not doing anything. I have no reason to lie. Second, how on earth did they think that I could sit doing nothing??

Anyway, they can think what they want, Im just happy about what im doing, and since I am paid for it, its all cool.

Talking about happy, did i mention that I was scared too? Yes, this project scares me. Its like one of those things that keep growing in multiple directions and is everywhere by the time you say "where the hell is this thing going". Its the sheer scale of the project that has my nerves on end. Every morning that I wake up, I have a new idea (well, almost every morning).

Whats fun about is the entreprenurial side of this, plus its big, paradigm shifting and puts me to a real test. Im a firm believer in the "make or break" test. No matter how much you train or teach, it wont help unless the person connects the right dots at the right time. It is only when he/she does that the intelligence and ability really shows.

My friends. I need your prayers and support.

The end of a chapter...the start of another...

2006-05-24T16:34:00.000+05:00

Today seems a day like never before. Its happy, sad, melancholic, nostalgic...yet so little and so much more all in one.

Its my last day at work today. A few minutes ago, I handed over all my official possessions and representative instruments to the HR dept. My drawer keys, my ID, health card, parking passes and visiting cards.

As far as this company is concerned, I am no more. I shall walk out today at 6 in the evening, with a small cardboard box in my hand containing my personal effects.

In my 35 months at this place, I am today nothing more than a card board box. A box 11 x 8 inches, less than 1 foot high.

I just remembered, my visiting cards too.

During my stay here, I have directly trained 3 superiors on the company, the product and service offerings and the way around this place. The 5 strong IAS team, which I trained has a weird look on their faces. They are happy, yet sad.

The CEO just dropped me an email in response to my 3 liner good-bye mail titled "Good Bye and Good Luck...". He wants me to see him before I leave. I'm happy he didn't try to stop me when i initially submitted my resignation. Lets see what's on his mind.

Tomorrow, Ill sleep in, rest for a day or so before I get back on my feet to take care of a few pending issues at home. I join the new place officially on Monday.

Till then, to all of you reading this,

All the best. I don't believe in good-byes

Other Rants...

2006-05-19T15:19:00.000+05:00

Im leaving this place on 24 May, Wednesday, and I guess ill take 2 days of rest, before the weekend lands in and then I join my new workplace.

Im trying to kick start my photography too, primary targets being road objects that I prefer sharing on the Metblogs rather than my flickr.

In a while, Ill leave for the Goethe Institut to attend a movie screening and discussion. Hopefully looking forward to meeting some interesting people there.

Gotta pick up my new pair of specs today too, have had a headache for the past few days over my right eye.

What else? Beach farewell party on Sunday...YAAAY!!!

Another one bites the dust...

2006-05-19T15:18:00.000+05:00

Well, as obvious, someone else has decided to throw in the towel too. This time its a pretty senior person...

Whats weird is that we are hearding news of another one in the pipeline...but lets see what whappens about that...

Anyway, i spent most of my day cleaning out my outlook mailbox (there are several mail conversations i honestly cant ask IT to delete, and several that no one should know about either..:P). In general, however, my pc is hogged by my 2 replacements who are tring to make an ad look good.

My car-reconstucted is going smooth, thankfully and has a couple of minor issues that ill need to spnd a few hours with the mechanic for to get fixed, but nothing major.

Changing Faces, Changing Places

2006-05-16T15:43:00.000+05:00

Time for a long over due blog post.

I resigned from my job last tuesday, May 9, 2006. How could I forget. The day marks and end to an assiciation with ABAMCO that stretches over almost three years since July 1, 2003.

There were no surprisesa at the higher management level, which is something im decently happy about. Im not about going behind peoples backs and getting things done. I informed them beforehand and it was just a matter of handing it in.

All's well that ends well I say....

What more...I was out to my first pitch meeting today.....which seemingly went well. When i got back to office, I found out two of my colleagues had resigned. I was sensing one resignation from Ambreen on the way and Aamir's was just around the corner. Not to brag but he actually asked for a copy of my resignation yesterday, which I of course had no issues in providing.

More stuff...may car has been keeping me on my toes lately after a complete clutch breakdown on saturday. I had it towed to a workshop..and when i realized the magnitude of work to just fix the clutch, I though id pretty well get almost a complete engine rebuild. It had a few leakages in the piston rings, which caused loss of power and a burning of fuel. Thankfully, that gone now and so is a lot of money.

Im trying to do something these days, I hardly have anything since Ive made it very clear to the management that its pointless for me to start off on any new assignments. It doesnt quite make sense to start something and then not be there to make sure things go right.

Well, im bored now.....so I now have to find something else to do or write about before I drown in my own semi-concious self that is very very sleepy!

Dedicated to mum...

2006-05-14T02:08:00.000+05:00

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love i found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when i was weak
You were my voice when i couldn't speak
You were my eyes when i couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when i couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything i am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand i could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and i stood tall
I had your love i had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe i don't know that much
But i know this much is true
I was blessed because i was loved by you

You were my strength when i was weak
You were my voice when i couldn't speak

You were my eyes when i couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when i couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything i am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when i was weak
You were my voice when i couldn't speak
You were my eyes when i couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when i couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything i am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when i was weak
You were my voice when i couldn't speak
You were my eyes when i couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when i couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything i am
Because you loved me

I'm everything i am
Because you loved me

Celine Dion - From the soundtrack of Up, Close and Personal

Missing Aijaz

2006-05-08T14:54:00.000+05:00

Have you ever heard that radio ad from Total when they talk about losing loved ones to road accidents? This is this particular one in which a guy talks about his fun loving friend, how he was always engrossed in studies and his friend used to tell him not to worry and enjoy life.

Every time i hear that ad, I miss Aijaz. I can so feel Aijaz around even today, saying "dont worry, lets have some fun". That was just him. We made fun of him, he never went silent.We drove him to stammering, (he stammered when hsiconfidence was shaken), but the guy had balls. He did everything and anything he wanted to.

Aijaz, you will forever be missed.

And stop checking out the jannat ki hoors!

Liberation at last....

2006-05-04T18:25:00.000+05:00

While we in Pakistan celebrated World Press Freedom Day with the (controlled) liberation of Blogspot from the shackles of neo-idiotic-beauraucratic idiosyncracies, we were left with another point to ponder.

Will we ever have consistent power supplies that will allow us to blog in peace and read other suff in peace online??

Call me mad but this is a conspiracy theory against blogspot lovers!!!

Last night, as i sat down to work (and blog) after dinner, a wild series of power break dows started. Barely had I caight up with my friends on MSN (ooh, did I mention that my new MSN Live Beta is on a crashing spree and Im solely dependent on the old windows ka pre-intsalled component, Windows Messenger?) when the power went out.

It came back after 15 mins though, happily I turned on my PC, and within five more mins, the power konked out back again.

This time round, it was back in five mins....only this time, I was in bed.....on my way to dreamland....

Yes, the garmee doesnt really affect me, its just the inability to do anything that gets to me!!

aarrgghh!!!!

Good byes...

2006-04-21T17:54:00.000+05:00

As soon as I landed at my office today, i jusp started on a long over due mission. Cleaning up my desk. I ended the misery of looking through zillions of pounds of paper, books and magazines. Thankfully, I feel i now have more space on my desk and I bet for certain that my desk loves me now for giving it breathing space.

Interestingly, I was asked by three persons if today was my last day. How I wish I could have said yes, how i wish i could have written my good bye email.

sigh....

Weird Days....

2006-04-16T16:53:00.000+05:00

Some days are just that, strange. Friday,April 15 2006 was one of them.

It started about 3 days ago on tuesday when a couple of associates asked me to take a trip to Lahore to meet two other associates. We scheduled the trip for April 14, Friday. When i got home after the meeting, my mother reminded me of my cousins wedding. I rescheduled for saturday and what followed was a worsening in city conditions and postponement of the wedding to saturday. Issue 1. On thursday. We recieved a notice to arrange for a press briefing. This we managed to pull off, except that the chief financial officer refused to hand in the figures. Naturally the ceo was ticked off, but i strongly believe we are in the clear. This issue will be resolved on monday.

After two meetings that went as scheduled, I killed time at synergy, helping Irti out on her out of the world assignments. That was fun.

Usman picked us up and we headed for coffee tea and company. I decided to call a cab to take my trip to the airport. Despite 4, calls, no cab came. The excuses the cab people gave were stupid. First time, when I called them 30 mins after my first request for the cab, they tell me that i failed to verify that i had requested for a cab. They claim that they called my cell and that i had declined any need for a cab. Second time round, the guy says he will need 20-25 mins to send the cab over. I could live with that, since the time was still 8.15 pm. 20 mins later, i get a call. No cabs available. Are you ok if we find you one thats currently in the city. I need a cab and im ok with anything that can drop me at the airport by 9 because i have a flight at 9.30 . The idiots think im ok with a cab that gets to me by 9. How the hell do they expect me to get to the airport by 9, if i get a cab by 9? i cancel my cab call, take a rickshaw. That gets stuck in 3 jams.

I reach the airport by 9.45. I clearly missed my flight. The pia at 10 was closed for boarding. The aero asia at 10.50 was cancelled. My only option was the 12.15 pia which i just bought a ticket for. Im boarding the plane now. Finally hoping to get home.

This is hopefully one of the new 777s, so ill probably get home soon.

While waiting initially at the airport peior to check in time, I saw an be on the large lcd screen. It was a razor ad. One of those cheap animated ones. They showed a guy shaving, which was understandable, but the ad ended at two females, who were posted against an animated set, with hearts popping out of their heads as they face each other. What on earth does that imply?

There were families at the airport to see of 1 person, who was travelling to Karachi. The hugs and tears just wouldnt end. For Gods sake! Its Karachi the person is traveling
to, not Iraq!

The steward is distributing newspapers while I wait on board the plane. At 12 sharp. Isnt it history by now?

I spent a good stretch of time talking to hina while i was at the airport, and i thank her deeply for tolerating my verbal diarrhea. I just let Ash know im finally on the plane. When i told her i missed the flight, i couldnt tell if she was angry at me or just plain shocked, but I guess she is relieved by now.

Just checked with the attendant. We will be landing at about 2.00 am. Against the wind i guess, and also that this is not one of the 777s. As long as i get home and get a good nights sleep, all is cool.

As I get home, more weird stuff. I realized that i dont have enough change to pay the cab, while the rest of the family members are still there at the cousin ki shaadi. All I have are a couple of thousand rupee notes and Rs. 120 in change. What I needed to pay were Rs. 160. I started my search and found the lights of my the the residents below my apartment on. Hopeful of getting some help, I rang their bel. Thankfully aunty was awake and was more than eager to help me. I still owe her Rs. 50, since i paid her back Rs. 110 while coming up the stairs after paying the cabbie.

Finally.....I slept.....at 0300 hours....

On working...

2006-03-31T13:43:00.000+05:00

Why do things become weirdly odd at times...if there is such a word to start of with!

Why i say weirdly odd, might sound extremely boring. You wake up, you drop your siblings to their respective institutions and you get to work. Thats it.

Things at work these days are odd....there is a strange isolation all around. Silence, nothing moving, no action. Maybe its always the same everywhere, except that we are too action oriented. Ive heard my friends often say how much work we guys do...and that are company is a slave driver etc etc, but i guess its the sudden cut down in pace thats actually getting to us.

We were never used to having time to go downstairs for a coffee and donuts at DD except for saturdays or before getting to work....now you can move out when ever you feel like it.

Im exploring a lot these days, and hot having internet sure isnt helping. I have a working saturday. Almost till 5. bad. Just brainstorming with the agency. Lets hope we haev a direction till then.

I kinda like sara, she is good, and whats best, she knows why she is doing what. Thats so uncommon these days. I think she will make a great addition to the team.

Talking of teams, i dont know what happened here. Its all so loosely tied in.

There is a lot to be done, a lot to be achieved, significant miles to cover and no where to start. I stay stranded, tied to hope, for maybe 2 months more.

Life, just isnt easy sometimes...

Here comes the mother of all F-ups....

2006-03-21T11:42:00.000+05:00

On the basis of some "information" the IT dept has blocked my internet today. What information, is something the Systems Manager cares not to explain. Whats weird is that during the day when i made my previous posts, i mentioned that my Gmail chats are under the radar. I found out because the IT dept. head was kind enough to let me know verbally. I paid heed to his warnings and ceased all communication through my Gmail channels. Any chat invitations that i recieved, were answered with a "cant talk here, mail me or call".

I am p*ssed. Very p*ssed.

One of these days, im gonna take this whole *ucking department and hang it by its heels.

The IT Policy manual states that chatting is not allowed, which i accept. But playing games is also not allowed, isnt that a violation by IT? Isnt that abuse of network resources? I dont give a damn if they do it during office hours or outside it. They use MSN, i dont care what purpose, but they do. That is a violation. So what if ur sitting at the bloody control lines.

You'll be hearing a lot frickkin more.....keep your eyes and ears covered.....

Sail Away

2006-03-13T11:59:00.000+05:00

My mood right now.....

Once upon a time we had a lot to fight for
We had a dream, we had a plan
Sparkles in the air spread a lot of envy
Didnt have to care once upon a time

Remember when I swore
That love was never ending
That you and I would never die
Remember when I swore
We had it all
We had it all

Sail away, it's time to leave
Rainy days, are yours to keep
Fade away, the night is calling my name
You will stay, i'll sail away

Once upon a time we used to burn candles
We had a place to call a home
We dream that we lived
We spend it undefine
Everyday was like a gift
Once upon a time

Remember when I swore
That love was never ending

That you and I would never die
Remember when you swore
We had it all
We've made it far

Sail away, it's time to leave
Rainy days are yours to keep
Fade away, the night is calling my name
You will stay, I'll sail away

No reason to lie
No need to pretend
How greatfull to die
To live once again
Im fearless to fly
And reach for the end
And reach for the end

Sail away

sadness or madness?

2006-03-09T17:45:00.000+05:00

Here i was today at work enjoying a nice long friendly chat with a friend, Tania.

Interestingly, I broke all my googletalk chat records. My longest conversation was about 45 lines or so.

Today, I hit 850 lines with Tania.

It was good fun....and i just discovered im not the only crazy nut in this world....and that im fairly successful at inding others. I guess its one of those birds of a feather things.

Here begin the chronicles of how my company is hell bent on isolating me socially.

First they blocked all MSN and Yahoo and all other chat services.

Then the following in order:

Orkut, Blogspot, Metblogs.

Lately, Flickr, comics.com (means no more Dilberts and Pearls before Swine for me) and now even BLOGLINES!!!!

Also got told about the gmail chat sessions. Do it anymore and we revoke all your rights.

Sigh....nothing much to say....

Random Deconstruction

2006-03-06T19:45:00.000+05:00

Deep within, under my skin, lies a fire. Burning slowly, deeply, softly, smoothly. A sweet pain that I treasure and call my own. I guard it secretly, calmly, closely. Bittersweet.

Break this bittersweet spell on me. I am lost in the throes of destiny.

Destiny, I believe in creating my own. Fate, no doubt, has been written. Life, to be lived on ones own. Purpose, to be beyond a robot and to rewrite, Destiny.

Blasphemy, I am in pain a pain I know nothing of. Nothing known to man in this world can relieve me. I am running to the core, the core of my fears. Ambitions stand towering above me. Too far to be reached. I am Godless under your cover.

Time slides through my fingers, life slides from my eyes. All these blessings turn to burns, my life, my dreams, my existence.

I fall yet again, only to stand and face the tides, once again, once more. I brave the frozen tides on my naked skin.

Existence means nothing.

Always, Forever. I will be here.

Shattered Glass

2006-02-18T23:56:00.000+05:00

Shattered Glass
Originally uploaded by inspirex.

What you see above is the state I found my car in when I left the office yesterday.

Interestingly enough, none of the guards at The Forum saw anything happen, no one heard any sounds and the last time I checked, I had no enemies. If at all anything fell from the building under construction that is directly opposite, some

What surprises me is that out of all the cars parked in the lane that has the entrance the office block at the forum, only mine was damaged. (im not hoping the others were damaged, but if they were, atleast I would have known it wasnt just me!).

My car was parked between the Office block entrance and the level one parking entrance, facing the wall. The security supervisor is as confused about this as I am.

Anyway, the security surveillance tapes will be checked today. I dont know what to expect or wish for. If someone broke the screen, I have something to worry about. If it broke on its own (which doesn’t quite make sense) I have to dish out cash. Catch 22.

Also reminds me of the movie Shattered Glass (or was it Broken Glass?) about a journalist named Stephen Glass. Great movie.

Its been a while...

2006-02-17T11:25:00.000+05:00

Ok. So here I am, back to my old blogging board. Ill take advantage to scribble soem stuff that been on my head for the past few days, and considering the attendance at my workplace is thin (in the 60% range), ill just take advantage of the time i have at my hand.

First up, i cant tell you all how happy i am. I love Gmail for more than its memory now (well, in addition to the light interface and easy organizing tools). It has GoogleTalk within the standard inbox. Why i appreciate this you ask? Well, to start off with, our workpace does not allow any sort of IMs, no lite version, no web version, nothing. Im happy knowing that this works, but i also know that these guys are seriously so good, they'll come up with a way to block that too. For that, i hate them.

What next...the strike...

Why the hell dont these self proclaimed custodians of religion understand that what they are doing is only causibng damage to the property and prestige (if there is any) of muslims. When abused, both verbally and physically, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said "Let them be, they do not know". End of story. If He can forgive, why cant we?

I so wanna go home right now, because I know for certain that after Friday prayers, things might go bad.

About the cricket series, I have no comment. Is it even worth a comment?

I guess ill get back when there is more ti be said, or rather when im in the typing phase. I just want to run now.

Run, run hard, run long. There are so many things I want to run from, so few to run to. Is that normal?

Yesterday, I was speaking to someone, who was talking about compromises in life, and crying upon them. There are so many things id cry out for, if only they could be fixed.

I died last year, this year, I shall die again. I am preparing my escape, knowing what will hit me, I am slowly and painfully, distancing myself. Learning from my vulnerability, knowing my state. I know I will die, but i intend to make as quick a rbirth as possible. It is tough. There are hardly any words between us now. There is hardly anything to be said.

A good sign is that another old good friend has come back from a long herbernation/vacation. Its pleasant to get back to talking biryani with you buddie.

Another friend from out of town!!! I have an increasing number of out of town friends now..:D and I turned her into a blogger too...:P

And another one of my Lahore friends is getting married!!! i missed oen guys wedding, better make it to this one. I think ill hand that old guy a wedding present too. Thats was due.

Thats all for now. Tummy grumbles, I hungry, looking for something to eat...sadly, supermarket closed....

waaa!!!!!

My Immortal...

2006-02-05T23:44:00.000+05:00

I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Because your presence still lingers here,
And it wont leave me alone...

These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase...

When you'd cried i'd, wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd, fight away all of your fears.
And i've held your hand through all of these years,
But you still have all of me.

You used to captivate me,
By your resonating light.
Now i'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me.

These wounds wont seem to heal...
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you'd cried i'd, wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd, fight away all of your fears.
And i've held your hand through all of these years,
But you still have all of me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
But though you're still with me...
I've been alone all along.

When you'd cried i'd, wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd, fight away all of your fears.
And i've held your hand through all of these years,
But you still have all of me.

__________________________________

Evanescence

Knowing or not

2006-02-01T15:08:00.000+05:00

What do you say when someone asks you how much time you want to spend with them? How do you tell them that you'd spend all the time in the world with them? How do you tell them that they mean the world to you? That you'd like to steal seconds in time to see the smile, ever so gentle, ever so soft. How do you tell them that one smile freshens you mind, body and soul more effectively than a day in paradise. How do you tell someone how much you mean to them?

How do you love someone to countless shreds of your own existence and actually get taken seriously? How many oceans do you need to cross to mean someone special in someones life?

She asked me how over the phones much time I wanted to spend.

People tell me I know things.

What do i know?

What does she know?

Daybreak

2006-01-31T09:00:00.000+05:00

Daybreak, the sight of beauty, the sound of joy, the feeling of hope. The ray of sunlight filtering through the window kissing me on my eyelids as I lie asleep, greeting me with a persuasion to live everyday as if it was the last. As I hope to survive every coming day till it reaches its end, I dream of a escaping into the unknown world that we have all once heard of. A life where there will be fear of foe, a world without the lust to conquer, a world driven by the actions of oneself.

No matter how much I dream, there is a constant fear of the unknown in the other world. It is something undocumented, unreported, unheard of, a one-way ticket. What lies beyond, if there truly is one, is more difficult to find than a grain of gold in all the sands of this earth.

The mystery that hides behind the desire is the source of all the beauty in the world. Beauty itself is driven, in my opinion, by the sense of intrigue and curiosity. The fact is that ignorance is bliss, and once there is a leak in thois over inflated balloon of ignorance, any person would want to win back the lost satisfaction. To what lengths he may go is a different question, determined by the fire that burns within him.

My second first day at work...

2006-01-29T15:45:00.000+05:00

Just got back from a vacation that stretched over a month long. Considering my general attitude towards work, a significant number of person were seriously concerned about my unusual yet extra long leave. Rest assured all, im back, and im back to turn your lives into hell. Am i that scary? I dont think so, but interestingly still, some people prefer that i work on certain projects, while others want me on the other end of the horizon. Coming back to the reason for this post, well, it was hectic. I was feeling tired and sleepy at midday. Maybe its all the extra sleep i had during the vacations. I do get confused from time to time, but i guess thats 'cos of the information gap that has stretched for over a month. Anyhue, more news, one of my articles, titled "I wonder" was recently published on Chowk in the "Self Publish" section. 33 hits, no reviews. Encouraging, ill send in more. Also lectured a BBA class at Commecs on Jan 26, their letter of thanks ended up at my desk today. Maybe ill do more of these things too. My Flickr is also raking up some good scores, apparently more people have marked my images as favourite than those that have added me as a contact. And what is this with absolutely random people adding me up on my Orkut? 3 people added me in 3 days, thats kinda nice and appreciative, but i seriously hadnt anticipated this (you guys must be reading this, please dont hate me, i was just taken a bit by surprise). I generally add people whom I have had an interaction with, whether on a personal level or not is irrelevant.

Destruction

2006-01-25T23:32:00.000+05:00

When I was in my early primary school years, my curiousity for everything around me earned me the title "Master of Destruction". Little did I know that over twenty years down the lane, I'll continue to protect my title.

Why do people think that their minds are readable? Why do people believe their emotions are transparent?

What happened between us is something I dont know. Something she does'nt want to tell me either. She called me today, referred to me as "Sir". It hurt.

I asked her what happened, the bridges were wide gaping oceans, dark and violent.

"Im ok without you in my life and you're ok without me".

Lost for words, lost from the world for a brief while.

Its not that there was some form of a relationship between us, we were just decent friends, who pulled each others legs every once in a while, but she was someone in my life, thats what I know.

People matter to me, no matter who they are, no matter where they are. This was a shock.

Like the several times in the past, ill continue to hold myself responsible for this breakdown too.

The destruction is still on, except that this time round, its people, their hearts, their dreams, their emotions.

Do i enjoy it? well...maybe i do...subconciously so....

Beatiful Mornings...

2006-01-20T07:59:00.000+05:00

After waking up at 6.30 today to drop my bro to the airport, I spent most of my morning drive back from the airport remeniscing about a beautiful morning in March/April.

After a crazy night, we landed at my place pretty late, and drove back out at about 6ish....u were still sleepy! We had classy doodh patti chai and then headed off to the airport.

It was a decently long span of time, but it felt so short, when u look at the fun we had....there still is much to do....

Those who are thinking what this is about...keep thinking....ull never know...,,and the one that does know...please pretend you are one of them!

(evil grin)

Moblogging (part 2)

2006-01-17T22:35:00.000+05:00

Second, i cant log on to the blogger dashboard. Possibly due to some coding language difference. I cant seem to comment on metblog posts either. They need an approval from the author to get published.

Third. All text entries are restricted to about 435 characters at most. Thats the reason why you see this post in two parts!

Bottom line, it can be done.

Moblogging (part 1)

2006-01-17T22:28:00.000+05:00

Mobile blogging, or Moblogging as it is technically known is quite fun, which i had the true pleasure of discovering today.

My Opera Mini browser allows me to access my gmail account, which i can use to post to this blog and i can even access the Metroblog user interface to post an entry.

Three drawbacks tough.

First, since i dont know html, i cant make formatted entries or linked entries.

In Memoriam...

2006-01-14T01:43:00.000+05:00

I first met Aijaz at St. Pauls High, Karachi. We were good friends then on. Of course i was not on his friends-to-count-on-for-mischevious-activities list, but yes, we both shared one common bond. Being on the hate list for Mr. Ben Fernando, our maths teacher, was significant enough.

After three years at school, he moved his way, I moved mine, he ended up in IBA, after passing the test by a single day's study, despite the fact that his sister took over a month.

Tragedy hit his IBA path and he moved to CBM for his masters.

I was, at times, surprised by this guy. The guy didnt know the meaning of politics. He was as clean as clean can ever be. No agendas, no motives. Just straightforward and forthcoming. He would succumb to other peoples smartness all too easily, but such are all innocent people.

One of the greatest things about this guy was that he'd do you a favour, and truly forget about it. No one would know, unless you told them.

For a guy who stammered out of confusion or nervousness, he made it to being a call centre attendant at ABN AMRO right here in Karachi. His only tool, was his extreme self confidence and sheer determination.

Unnerved by dangers, mindless of fears, Aijaz believed strongly in himself. A man with such conviction and unflinching selflessness, he was just too good for this world. As is with all good people, he left us too soon.

Aijaz, my friend, you will be missed.

An ode to Aijaz Azim

2006-01-12T14:53:00.000+05:00

My friend of three years at St. Pauls School, Aijaz Azim passed away this morning at half past ten.

I visited him yesterday, eid day and was shocked, to say the least.

I was expecting a drip or two at the most, but what i saw was too much to handle.

Enough for now, will add more here later.

Making Sense...

2006-01-06T08:30:00.000+05:00

Sometimes, things just dont make any sense.

Life is whirlwind, you are the silent centre. Everything
around you just spins by, faster and faster. You keep standing, staring, maybe thinking what part of your life you treasure most and want to protect.

You search for yourself, pieces of you, memories of you, dreams of you, amongst your shattered and sliced existence.
You stand there, in pain and despair, not knowing what happened, you laugh at yourslef, your own helpless existence.
Your memories are no longer yours, your dreams are no longer yours. You have faded away, into the abyss, but your existence remains.

All those around you, are now mere beings, individials, each lost in their own little worlds, or what ever is left of it.

Goodbye my lover....

2006-01-04T07:45:00.000+05:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

______________________________________________

by James Blunt

Lost & Found...

2006-01-02T08:55:00.000+05:00

Sometimes, every moment in life starts circulating a single person. All ideas, opinions, thoughts and impressions seem to be in a single orbit. An orbit that is not yours, but an orbit you share with them.

What is the reason for our love, our emotional attachments and our bondings with the significant one? Why is that person "the one"?

I have been searching for an answer to this question for quite a while now. So much so that i have closed in on the one, without reason, without motive, without purpose.

I have never been so lost.
I have never been so found.

A brand new epic adventure...

2005-12-29T23:43:00.000+05:00

Keep watching this space for a brand new epic adventure, coming soon.

"The de-education of Imtiaz Noor"

City love letter

2005-12-23T06:23:00.000+05:00

This is truly artistic representation of Ayesha's impression of Karachi and Vancouver. Ayesha is a student in Canada and was doing an assignment on the relationship between aborigionies and migrants based in Vancouver. You can see more of this particular photoset here and more of Ayesha's photography here.

Curtains...

2005-12-21T20:03:00.000+05:00

Moments of solitude are sometimes those of utmost joy. The silence, the breeze, all encompassing, all consuming. Everything in life seems to come to a gentle standstill. For those that spend their lives for others, without purpose, without drive, like me to an extent, it means a lot.

We tend to connect ourselves to people and objects for no reason. There is no reason for liking, there is no reason for love. When things are beutiful in their own solitary self, its an over whelming feeling.

There should be no dependables, just silence, solitude.

I hold a dagger to myself, smiling, knowing that there is an end, an end i love, knowing that the life i want, but cannot have, will always remain a dream. I still want that silence, that life, for no apparent reason.

It gives me pain to know that i cannot have what i truly love. it gives me joy, with hope, that what i cannot have may, per chance, have a better life without me.

When you have seen it inside and out, when you have felt it in the vibe that radiates from your proximity, you have seen it all. Its nothing, but a silent story. A silent true story which will remain a dream. The dream has been written, decided upon and will be played, and i will be the spectator.

The sight of the stage drives the dagger deeper into my soul, the pain is sweet, so i shall consume it. It could have been sweeter, but when there are things you cannot change, there is no point complaining about it.

For some reson or the other, there is no way i can bring myself to accept the truth in its entirety. I want it for myself, but wish its freedom.

Its a pain that gives pleasure, its a pain i want.

Hoping that the pain would not exist is not an option. Whats done, is done.

Curtains.

Bored...

2005-12-19T13:39:00.000+05:00

Had an extremely boring lunch.....well, id only call it lunch cos the timing kinda resembled, but in no way was it a real LUNCH.

I had soup.

While watching a cricket match at Time Out, i had soup.

Those who know me are probably saying "has he actually found his head???"

Here's to a fresh start...

2005-12-19T09:51:00.000+05:00

This morning, i realized that my blog is heavily under-blogged!

Why do i have to wait to feel bad about something to blog about it? Why not about anything and everything? It is after all an expression of who i am and what i go through everyday...

So hopefully, from today, you will hear and read my ravings and rntings about anything and everything that affects me everyday...like those RJs playing idiotic music on one fine day, or the bloody bus wala that was spewing black diesel smoke into my face on Shahrah e Faisal. The idiot wasnt even letting me pass, despite that fact that i needed to rush on. Eventually, i was three minutes late in dropping my younger bro to college. Idiot!

Whats more, these bike wala guys are sometimes quite the limit. These days, im particularly wary of the bikers. Nothing happned to me or my car, but just an incident in the family that has left a bad scar. That will take tiem to heal.

Im on sharah e Faisal, driving past the royal eyesore (Kawish Crown) intersection when his royal highness passes me by me from the right and decides to cross over to the left lane, while less than a foot infront of my car. Needless to say that there were no indications, either by indicators or a waving of the hand or foot before the turn was initiated.

I slammed (softy) on the brakes and managed to distance myself, for the fear of offending his excellency with my close proximity. Close shave...

Bad start to a beautiful day.....just when im feelig better from my flu....

Another issue....the nose pressure pads on my specs seem to be misaligned, im getting these throbbing headaches and pains in my eye socket every few minutes.....always happens after a flu!!!

Tea time!